The Goddess Speaks in Signs and Wonders and in the Deepest Stirrings of Your Heart

In many spiritual circles much is being said about the Sacred Feminine and restoring the balance between Masculine and Feminine. Deepak Chopra just offered a 21 day meditation experience on Activating the Divine Feminine. There are numbers of books to be found on awakening the Sacred Feminine, and many spiritual teachers are bringing these ideas to consciousness. 

But these ideas are not new. I have consciously been drawn to the Sacred Feminine for over thirty years; unconsciously I have been drawn to Her  my entire life. Many women have felt Her calling and questioned the status quo in their hearts, but until now women haven’t had the words or experiences to be able to articulate that longing for a Divine that mirrored their own souls. 

Having been reared in a conservative Baptist home, I struggled with listening to that voice in my heart of hearts that has led me to the Goddess. My early conditioning and indoctrination told me to deny Her and run away from anything remotely resembling “Idolatry, witchcraft, devil worship, female, astrology,” – you get the picture. Anything that wasn’t completely masculine and completely Baptist was not allowed.

But as a woman, I became more and more disillusioned by the treatment of women by the conservative, Patriarchal church. It was hard to let go of the old beliefs. Family and friends definitely did not approve of my new thoughts and beliefs. The Church, which was home and community and family, was not even able to hear the questions that kept popping up in my soul. It was certainly not okay to doubt the validity of the Patriarchal party line. In the beginning of my quest, I was certain that I was going straight to hell for even entertaining the idea that God might actually be a woman.

However, the idea of someone like me being God, was in my head and my heart. Once the idea comes, there is no turning back.

One night, in the very beginning of my quest, I dreamed a “big” dream. I was contemplating giving up my studies in Feminist Theology. Those studies were rocking my world and opening up my heart to new possibilities. They were also terrifying, because I knew that once I started down this path, my life would never be the same.

In the dream, I heard the words over and over all night long, “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” When I woke the next morning, I went straight to the Bible, Philippians 2:12,13 says: …Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for God is at work in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

At that moment I realized that I was responsible for my own soul’s work. I had permission to go where my soul led. That was the first sign and wonder. All I had to do was to listen.

Since then, there have been many signs and wonders in this powerful journey towards the Goddess.  I remember being consumed with doubt and walking into someone’s office which featured  a goddess statue in the waiting room. Another time I found a wheat stalk (symbol of Demeter) where there was no wheat. Whenever I see a full moon my entire being fills with inexplicable longing.  On more than one occasion, the right book shows up at the exact right time to answer a specific question.  Dreams, something someone says,  a song lyric, an Oracle card that speaks to my exact situation – these are all signs and wonders  which point the way.

Walking this path has never been easy. In the beginning there were no teachers and few allies. Family members have been hurt and disappointed by my straying from their dogma. But at each fork in the road, the Goddess has provided signs and wonders to help guide me – always in the direction of the Sacred Feminine. I cannot deny the signs and wonders that have spoken to my heart, the voice of the Great Mother leading me home to Her.