The Courage to Be Authentic

Last week I wrote about my own shadow of perfectionism. As I have pondered this lesson, I have realized that being a perfectionist has helped me to cover up my fears. And there are oh so many fears! I am afraid of being judged as less than, of being seen as incompetent, of being seen as unworthy of love because of who I am, of truly being unworthy, of being wrong  – I could write pages of words about fear. So I cover these fears by never venturing into an arena in which I might fail, by keeping myself small and invisible, or by not speaking out when by doing so, I might be criticized. An example is this very blog. I haven’t distributed it to anyone who I think might be critical or who might not appreciate my journey toward the Sacred Feminine.

A by-product of this fear is not showing up in the world as my true self. I can never BE LOVE in the world if I don’t love my own self fully and completely. Brené Brown says, “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”

So it comes down to courage – courage to allow myself to love the full range of who I am and who I am becoming, to then share myself fully with those around me, and to stand in the full power and truth of my deepest self. When I am too afraid to express my full and true self, I deny others the privilege of knowing my depth or sharing my struggles (which may in fact be very similar to their struggles). It is when I share myself fully, heart to heart and soul to soul that I finally begin to understand and have compassion for another. This kind of sharing requires vulnerability, openness, and, yes, great courage.

As I look at the great teachers and leaders throughout history, I believe that they all had one thing in common – they had the courage to show their true selves to the world, and in that courage they acted upon their convictions to speak the Divine truth that flowed through them. They acted in spite of their fears, and some paid the ultimate price of their own lives. However, if they had not shown up, the world as we know it would be a sadder and less enlightened place.  

To quote Brené Brown once again, “The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.” When I do not allow myself to be who I truly am out of fear, no matter what that fear is, I diminish myself and become small. I deprive myself and the world of my true essence and don’t allow the Divine to flow through me. I cannot BE LOVE in the world if I am not BEING LOVE to myself.

This year I have committed to saying ‘yes’ to the nudges of the Divine. I have committed to listening to that still, small voice that leads me to my deepest, truest self. But I have to be willing to show up, step up, and speak up – to be my true and authentic self in every circumstance and with everyone, whether or not I think they will approve.  I must not allow my shadow-self, full of perfectionism, fears, and doubts, to keep me from shining my Divine light into the world. Today I will release this blog to a wider audience of friends and acquaintances who do not know this side of me.

Is there a part of your deepest self that you are hiding from the world? Where can you show up bravely and with courage?

Barbara Garland
February, 2021