Freedom to BE

I graduated from high school in the mid-sixties – that amazing time of free love and liberation for millions of baby boomers. But I lived in a small, very conservative city in west Texas where the cowboys outnumbered the hippies at least three to one. I was protected by a bubble of religion and conservatism that left me unaware of most of the larger forces working in the world. I automatically recoiled at the changes that were happening in the outer world and labeled them as immoral and wrong. While I felt the stirring of feminism, it was too scary for me to think about, much less articulate.

I would never have imagined that in 2021 I would be writing a blog dedicated to the Divine Feminine. I never would have imagined that I would have broken free from the confines of a stifling, rigid, religion and moved into the freedom and love of a deep spirituality. I never would have imagined that I would be seeing the world through the lens of inclusion rather than exclusion.

Because of this blog, I am privileged to have some amazing, stimulating conversations with a wide variety of people, most of whom are exceedingly wise women of a certain age. In one such conversation this week, we talked about how to free ourselves up from the confines of the rigid lock-step of the worlds of our childhood. How do we move from those behaviors and attitudes that we learned as children? How do we move from the shadow realms that rule us from the unconscious to a new way of being and seeing? How do we move from fear to being grounded in our own power as wise human beings?

Most of the women I know, and probably most of the people who read this blog, have spent much of their lives working on this spiritual and emotional path of growth and maturation. Indeed, most of us have an entirely different perspective in our sixties and beyond than we did in our forties. We know what we know because we have lived life. We know what we know because we have lived through each life stage and acquired wisdom, hopefully, along the way.

So in many ways, we have freed ourselves up through the simple privilege of living a long life. On the other hand, I still have a ways to go. I still get hung up on the limiting beliefs that unconsciously pull me down and hold me back. These beliefs are beautifully described in Suzanne Anderson’s book, The Way of the Mysterial Woman. These beliefs are, “I am not enough. I have to do to be of value. I do not belong. I am not free to express myself fully. I don’t have enough knowledge, connections, or influence.”

When I unconsciously buy into these beliefs, I become locked into a way of being that is fear-filled and joyless. I find myself on a treadmill of trying to be perfect; of trying to always do more, and be better; of feeling that no matter what I do, it isn’t enough; and of knowing deep down that my expertise, my hard-earned wisdom, doesn’t meet the credentials criteria set forth by the larger culture.

My own journey has led me to look deeply at my own shadows, to thank them for their service, and to incorporate them as a part of my true self. It has led me to recognize and pay attention to my own intuition. It has led me to spiritual practices which have deepened my connection with myself and with the whole of creation. It has opened me to practice saying “yes” to the urging of Spirit within. As I walk my path each day, I realize that each time I say “yes,” each time I face my shadows, each time I take a step in spite of my fear, that I am freeing myself up to be the person I am meant to be. What are the ways that you free yourself from the chains of unconsciousness? In the words of Suzanne Anderson, how do you become “an evolving source of wisdom, love, and power”?

Barbara Garland
March, 2021