Tag: wholeness

Bringing Back Balance

Her voice doesn’t call for the destruction of the masculine principle, as some people fear, but rather calls for a balance between the energies of the masculine and the feminine.

Goddess Inspired

February 26, 2023

Tagged balance, Divine Feminine, Divine Masculine, Patriarchy, wholeness

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“Today on many levels, we are witnessing an immense longing for the mature feminine at every level of our society—from our politics to our economics, in our psyche, our cultures, our patterns of leadership, and our theologies, all of which have become far too warlike, competitive, both mechanistic and noncontemplative. We are terribly imbalanced.” Father Richard Rohr

I have been a devotee of the Divine Feminine for a very long time now. When I began my journey almost forty years ago, there were few people who could conceive of the idea of the Sacred Feminine. Today there are more and more people who are openly and joyfully claiming Her presence in their lives. As institutions crumble around us, the voice of the Divine Mother is becoming louder than ever – and people are beginning to heed the cry. Her voice doesn’t call for the destruction of the masculine principle, as some people fear, but rather calls for a balance between the energies of the masculine and the feminine.

For too long, God has been pictured as the judgmental, bearded MAN in the sky, who rains down retribution on a sinful, lost world. He is out there, separate and apart from us. He is a conqueror and an exploiter of those who don’t believe in him. He is jealous and punishing. This view of God has permeated our cultures, world-wide, and has led to untold atrocities committed in the name of God. It is the ultimate patriarchal view of the world. And in this view, there is no place for a sacred and divine feminine.

Before patriarchy, the Divine Feminine was the ultimate source. Shakti, Sophia, Shekinah, Inanna, and other goddesses (in various world pantheons) created the universe and were the ultimate mystery. Goddess was the seed of divine power, the beginning and the end of everything. The energy of the feminine divine was generally creation, fertility, growth, compassion, and wisdom, not judgement and destruction.

In ancient and indigenous cultures, god and goddess were intertwined. Shakti and Shiva, Isis and Osiris, Inanna and Dimuzid, Sophia and Yahweh, Hera and Zeus. There was a tradition of the hieros gamos or sacred marriage, which recognized the necessity of both the feminine and masculine for the health of the community. In these pairings was the essence of balance and of wholeness. The sacred child (Christos) came from the joining of the sacred masculine and the sacred feminine. It took both.

Over the centuries, Christianity evolved into a patriarchal structure in which there was no room for the divine feminine, especially in Protestantism. Although there are many feminine metaphors for God in the scriptures, these were somehow ignored, and God became male. Never mind that there are many scriptures where God is depicted as giving birth or gathering her chicks. One of the creation stories is this simple passage from Genesis, “So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27. To me this verse implies that both the masculine and the feminine are the creative force. If we are created in God’s image as male and female, then the Divine also has characteristics of both.

While I truly believe that the Divine Source is neither male nor female, it is important to bring back the concept of the Divine Feminine. First, because the name God conjures up the masculine in most people’s minds; secondly, because the masculinization of God is weaponized against women; thirdly, because it is important that women and other gendered people be able to see themselves in the Holy; and lastly because it is imperative that we bring balance back into the world.

It is important for us to value both the male and female, to balance the inner and outer journey, the light and the dark, the active and the receiving. Banishing the patriarchal view of the world with its skewed emphasis on hierarchy, conquest, and dominance and bringing in a more nuanced and compassionate way of being which honors the earth and promotes wholeness will bring the balance that is needed to bring abundant life for all.

Barbara Garland
February, 2023

When Does the Spiritual Become Political?

Loving My Shadows

If I do not believe that I am worthy of love, then I am not able to see others as being worthy either.

Goddess Inspired

October 30, 2022

Tagged acceptance, Judgment, love, Shadow, wholeness

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I believe that it is important to all of us from time to time to take a look at our own shadows, those things about ourselves that we deny. Last week, I talked about Lucy, my little shadow girl who tries to protect me by trapping me in perfectionism and the fear of standing up for myself. I have given my inner power over to Lucy, when in fact, allowing her to run my life is harmful to me and all my relationships. When I don’t allow my own vulnerabilities to show, I deprive myself of the love and intimacy I crave.

As I look at my shadows, I see that the very things that bother me the most about others are the things that I deny in myself. I am just as capable of horrible actions as those whom I judge so harshly. I have the capability of being a liar, a murderer, a thief, a racist – if the right circumstances are present. But I also don’t want to admit that I am less than the perfect good girl. On the other hand, I am also capable of being the things that I admire the most in others. I am intelligent, spiritual, talented, kind, and giving. I am not “less than” but rather I am complete and whole just as I am.

It was no accident that Jesus said to “love our neighbors as ourselves.” It is not possible to truly love another without loving myself and accepting myself as a whole, intact, human being. If I do not believe that I am worthy of love, then I am not able to see others as being worthy either. If I cannot love myself, I cannot truly love another person.

Loving myself is not selfish or egotistical. It is simply looking at all of me – the good and the bad – and accepting and loving every part of me. It is believing that I am worthy of love in all of my imperfections. It is knowing that I am a creation of the Divine, and that the Divine lives in me and through me.

It is never easy to accept my own darkness, nor is it easy to accept my light. As a human, I am constantly judging myself as too much or not enough. It is only when I look unflinchingly at my whole self and love all that I see, that I can become the creation that I was meant to be. At that point, I can step into my true inner power and radiate love into the world.

Barbara Garland
October, 2022

Lessons from the Shadows

Where does wholeness comes from, and how do my shadow selves contribute or detract from my wholeness? My question to myself is “What can I learn from my shadow selves?”

Goddess Inspired

July 22, 2022

Tagged Perfectionism, Shadow, wholeness

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Lessons from the Shadows

I continue to be intrigued by the idea of wholeness. Where does wholeness comes from, and how do my shadow selves contribute or detract from my wholeness? My question to myself is “What can I learn from my shadow selves?”

First I have to recognize and name my shadows, which I define as ‘those parts of myself that I do not want to acknowledge.’ While most of us think that our shadows are the ugly parts of ourselves, they can also be the strengths that we don’t want to claim. Our shadows are the parts of ourselves which we developed in childhood. As small children, we counted on those parts of ourselves to help us survive.

As I work with my own shadow self, I have recognized several traits that have both helped me and hurt me in my life. They are perfectionism, the need to be in control, practicality, hyper-responsibility, and fearfulness to be truly seen for who I am.

PERFECTIONISM – Perfectionism leads to the idea that I am never enough. No matter what I do, it isn’t good enough because I can never be perfect. It also puts everything on my shoulders, since no one else can do things right. So I not only set myself up to be not good enough, I set up impossible standards for the people around me. I end up depriving myself of help and support. Then I become resentful and burned out. It is a perfect circular conundrum. On the other hand, perfectionism can drive me to do an excellent job on every task I undertake. Employers love me because whatever I do, I do well. I am rewarded for the very thing that sets me up for burn-out and stress.

CONTROL – I feel the need to be in control of every situation. I have a hard time letting go and allowing others to be in charge. This ties in neatly with perfectionism. Things must be done perfectly, and of course I am the only one who can do things right. When I think I am in control, my anxiety lessens because I think that I can avoid ugly surprises. But of course, control is an illusion. It disallows spontaneity, and it keeps others in a position of inferiority.

I THINK I AM BEGINNING TO SEE A PATTERN HERE.

PRACTICALITY – I see practicality as one of my greatest strengths, but it is also one of my greatest blind spots. Practicality helps me manage money, keeps me from overindulging, keeps me grounded, and helps me to not be envious of others. I pride myself on being practical. However, practicality sometimes allows me to deny my own needs and the needs of others to indulge in occasional extravagances, or even silliness. It doesn’t allow me to play or relax. More importantly, it keeps me in a state of denial about my own intuition and my intuitive process (because intuition usually always leads me to wildly impractical actions).

HYPER-REPONSIBILITY – I am a first-born child. My mother was super-practical, responsible, and strong. My father was a strong disciplinarian. Being responsible was drilled into me from an early age. I became responsible for my little brother, my school work (which had to be perfect), and my own behavior. I short, in my child’s eyes, I became responsible for everything, and of course everything had to be perfect. Again, being the hyper-responsible person that I am, I have to be in control of everything – and everything I do must be practical and perfect.

YIKES!

FEARFULNESS – In my family, we were not allowed to “talk back” or be sassy. Back-talk included anything said in my own defense or anything that did not agree with what my parents were saying. I learned at an early age that my opinions were to be kept to myself. I learned not to speak out or speak my truth. I learned to defer to those whom I perceived to have power over me. I learned to avoid saying anything that might lead to criticism. I hid my light and my talents. I allowed myself to be invisible because I was afraid. That fearfulness to speak out kept me out of trouble as a child, but it has kept me from speaking out as an adult.

So how do these shadow parts of myself contribute to my wholeness? They all have served a purpose in what my little child-self thought was survival. They helped me navigate an uncertain and confusing world. In many ways, they actually contributed to my success as a functioning adult. It is not always bad to do the best you can in the most practical, responsible way that you know how. It is not always bad to keep quiet in certain situations.

When I am unconscious of my shadow selves, however, I am divided against myself. I am caught in not understanding why I do what I do. I am unaware of how my shadow affects my life. I now believe that it is in the conscious acceptance of our shadow selves that we become whole.

So now I want to say thank you to my shadow selves for doing an amazing job of protecting me. You have kept me safe in many situations, helping me to navigate difficult times in my life. Now, with gratitude, I want to invite you to become my conscious partners and friends. I want to be able to invite you into my life when I need you. I want you to be ready to jump in when it is appropriate. But I am now the boss. I need you to wait until I ask you for help. I need you to be part of my life as a conscious and coherent team which I coordinate and use as needed. I need for you to come out of the shadows and become a conscious part of who I truly am – a whole and complete human being, a vessel holding space for unconditional love. I am enough! I am

Centerpoint

Where is your wholeness, your Centerpoint?

Goddess Inspired

February 18, 2022
2 Comments on Centerpoint

Tagged Creative, goddess, soul, wholeness

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Centerpoint

Deep inside of me is a place,
A place not easily accessible but available if I look.
A place as wide as a galaxy, a place as small as an atom,
A place deep and dark, a place bursting with light.

This is my center, the seat of my wholeness, the essence of my Soul.
I go inward, held in the knowledge that this place, this center point is my resting place.

Here, I meet Goddess.
Here I am my true self – alive, joyous, creative, or tired, lost, afraid.
There is nothing so dark that it cannot be transmuted into gold,
Nothing so ugly that She cannot bear it with me.

Here I am safe, I am held, I am loved.
Here I am WHOLE.
As I sit in this centerpoint of myself, I can trust that all is well
For the Divine Feminine resides in me and I in Her.

Barbara Garland
February, 2022

Where Opposites Meet

It occurred to me recently that the Divine Feminine is the womb where opposites meet.

Goddess Inspired

November 26, 2020

Tagged Alchemy, Blending, container, goddess, Opposites

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It is fall now, and the weather is cooling and crisping. The light has a different quality, and the sun is at a different angle in the sky. Even though the days are still warm in Texas, the nights are beginning to cool off. It is the perfect weather for a big pot of chili and some cornbread. I gather the ingredients and begin to put them together in my big cast iron pot. I brown chunks of meat, onions, and garlic. I add tomatoes, corn, black beans, chili powder, cumin, and anything else that might add to the flavor of the meal that simmers on the stove.

By themselves, any one ingredient may not be all that tasty. When simmered together all afternoon, however, the various flavors begin to blend and meld into a harmonious whole that wakes up the taste buds and causes stomachs to growl in anticipation. But what does making chili have to do with the Divine Feminine?

Many people describe the womb of the Divine Feminine as a container. She holds everything – light, dark; good, evil; surety, doubt; life, death – without judgement. There is room for everything within the container/womb of the Divine Feminine. All the duality, all the opposites that exist can be held in that womb. It occurred to me recently that the Divine Feminine is the womb where opposites meet.

Think about it. In that sacred container everything is held, but like the chili in the pot, the whole that results is much more than the sum of its parts. Everything that is held, while it might not seem very acceptable by itself, becomes a part of a change that is alchemical in nature. The finished product becomes a beautiful creation that is only possible because each ingredient contributes to the whole. That container, the womb of the Divine Feminine, births wholeness and beauty, but all the parts must be present for the birth to take place.

So how then can we consider ourselves as “less than?” We are whole because of the sum of our parts – the dualities, and the opposites. We have permission from the Mother herself to love those parts of ourselves which have been labeled as not-acceptable. That is the essence of pure love and wholeness, and it is within ourselves; it is not ‘out there’ somewhere in a distant and unattainable heaven.

This is in strong contrast to my experience of Patriarchal Christianity. In that paradigm, there is no room for the opposites. The darkness must be driven away; good must overcome evil; surety must always win over doubt; death is always to be feared and conquered. It is only through a belief in something outside of ourselves (Christ), however, that the opposites can be dealt with. In the Western Christian tradition, however, these opposites are not transmuted, but rather are banished or denied.

Metaphorically, I now look at the Divine Feminine as a symbol of the Holy Grail, the divine container which alchemically transforms dross into gold. And that container is within each of us, not outside of ourselves. In the womb of the Divine Feminine, everything, the lovely and the not so lovely, comes together as part of the recipe for wholeness.

Think of the infinity symbol _∞ . That symbol has no beginning and no end. Whatever is on the extreme points of the symbol ultimately joins in the middle. There is ebb and flow, but everything is a part of the whole. That to me, is the womb of the Sacred Feminine – the container where there is room for the opposites. It is when we consciously bring those dualities and opposites together in that sacred container/womb that we become the tasty, juicy, whole souls that we are meant to be.

Barbara Garland
November, 202

Balance – the Key to Wholeness

Goddess Inspired

November 6, 2020

Tagged balance, Feminine, Masculine, wholeness, yin-yang

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Balance – the Key to Wholeness

As I work with the ideas of balance and wholeness in my own life, I am more convinced than ever that spiritual wholeness comes from balance between the inner masculine and inner feminine. Our bodies and spirits, the yang and the yin, the masculine and the feminine need to be balanced and aligned in order for us to be whole. And individual balance and wholeness leads to collective balance and wholeness. As I become more balanced, so does the world.

For too long, Patriarchy has ruled the western world. As Christianity became the dominant European, and subsequently American, religion, anything that had to do with the Goddess was literally destroyed. Goddess temples were destroyed or appropriated as Christian churches. Priestesses were supplanted by priests, who even wore feminine garb (cassocks) in taking over the role of priestess. Early popes postulated that women did not have souls. Thousands, some say hundreds of thousands, of women were tortured and burned at the stake as witches. Women and women’s purviews became the property of men. Theology, medicine, midwifery, herbalism, and commerce were taken over by men and ruled by men. In short, anything feminine was regarded as dark, evil, sinful, or unclean. The masculine way of doing supplanted the feminine way of being. The yang overshadowed the yin. As a result, there is no longer a balance, and our world has been the worse for it.

In toxic patriarchy, everything is outside of ourselves. God is “out there.” Success is defined as outer achievement in the world. There is a constant emphasis on doing more, accumulating more, winning more, conquering more. Salvation comes from outside of ourselves through putting trust in Jesus or Allah, or a set of proscribed teachings. The hero’s journey consists of conquest.

The Divine Feminine, however, leads us to the inner world. Goddess resides within. There is value in lying fallow in the darkness as new life gestates. There is value in being, in receiving, in stillness, in nurturing, in collaboration. The world is not ours to conquer, but rather is a collaborative partner in co-creation. Salvation comes from claiming all the parts of ourselves – the good, the bad, the ugly, as well as the beautiful and the transcendent – and integrating them into our whole selves.

As more and more women begin to awaken spiritually, there is a growing awareness that balance needs to be restored. The answer is not to replace the masculine with the feminine. That would be just as imbalanced in the other direction. The answer is to restore balance. It is important to use the gifts of both masculine and feminine to solve the world’s problems. The yin/yang are complementary, not oppositional. There is no light without dark, joy without sorrow, creation without destruction. It is the balance that makes us whole.

As a priestess of the Goddess, it is my role to restore that balance, both in my own life and in my dealings with the world. I must balance my inner masculine and feminine and live out that balance in my dealings in the world. I must balance the relational with the rational, the dark with the light, the being with the doing, the intuitive with the cognitive, internal wisdom with external knowledge. I must model balance, using both masculine and feminine approaches. Sometimes my approach may be more masculine: sometimes it will be more feminine, depending on the circumstances in which I find myself. But ultimately, I must be balanced, I must model balance, and I must teach balance. For it is in balance that I, and the world, become whole.

I Am Goddess

Creator, sustainer, destroyer – Goddess, three in one

You made me from your own hands

Goddess Inspired

October 29, 2020

Tagged darkness, goddess, light, storm, wholeness

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I AM GODDESS

Creator, sustainer, destroyer – Goddess, three in one

You made me from your own hands.
You formed me in the beginning of time.
You are with me from my birth to my death and as I walk between the worlds.

Who am I to say that your creation is not good?
Who am I to deny the darkness within or the light without?

Because I am your creation, I am whole.
I am made in your likeness.
I am one with all things.

Move, move into the center.
Move into the eye of the storm where all is calm and peaceful.
Move into the balance of all that is.

I am open – open to the wholeness that is me
I am open – open to the Goddess that is me.
I am open – open to the balance of light and dark, shadow and sun.

I am your creation. I am yours. I am whole.

I am Goddess.

The Paradigm of Wholeness

I have been thinking a lot lately about the concept of “wholeness.”

Goddess Inspired

October 15, 2020

Tagged acceptance, goddess, paradigm, spirituality, wholeness

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The Paradigm of Wholeness

I have been thinking a lot lately about the concept of “wholeness.” In my Christian upbringing, I was taught that the only way to be whole was through being forgiven, through Christ, for my sins. As a seven year old child, I wasn’t sure what my sins were, but I was sure that I wanted to be forgiven. And so, I asked Jesus to come into my heart.

The ministers in my faith tradition emphasized humankind’s sinfulness. I soon learned that I would always fall short, that I would always need forgiveness for something. I was never good enough, even though I had accepted Jesus. Even if I tried to be perfect, I was not good enough. So I became a prisoner of perfectionism.

I thought that if I just did everything right, I would be whole, and that the emptiness inside me would be filled. If I kept a perfect house, raised perfect children, had a picture-perfect marriage – then I would be whole. But of course, despite all my herculean efforts, the house was a wreck, the children were challenging, and my first marriage fell apart.

I was flawed, less than, and never enough. I was broken, not whole. I was a failure, and everything was my fault. My spiritual paradigm reinforced the concept of brokenness, not wholeness. It emphasized the fact that I would always fall short. It trapped me in a dualistic paradigm of either/or, good/bad, black/white. And it made me look outside of myself for salvation (wholeness).

I spent years looking for a path which leads to wholeness. As I began to open to the Sacred Feminine, I began to see that balance and wholeness come from accepting and loving all of myself. I began to move toward a new definition of spiritual wholeness that lead me away from that which is unattainable to something that already exists inside of myself.

Whole means complete, undivided, intact. What if I see myself, with all my flaws, quirks, and ugly parts as whole and unspoiled? What if I love myself for the unique person that I am? What if I don’t try to deny or suppress the parts of myself that I see as less than? What if I lovingly thank those parts of myself which try to protect me in ways that may not seem appropriate? What if I look inside of myself, not outside of myself, for the love and tenderness that I crave from others?

As I said in an earlier post, the Goddess calls us to embrace all of our humanity. If you look at the many aspects of the Goddess from cultures around the world, many of the Goddesses are rulers of both birth and death, light and dark. Fertility and fallowness. Gaia, Kali, Ishtar, Hel, Diana, the triple Goddess in all her forms – all these Goddesses manifest the full range of experiences and emotions in one being.

As humans then, all the conflicting and contradictory emotions that we feel every day comprise who we are as complete human beings. If I love and accept all of myself, then I am whole. I am not cut off from parts of myself. I am not fighting myself. I am not broken or flawed. I am free to live each moment. I become complete as a human being. I become who I was created to be.

Embracing Our Humanity

I have been thinking a lot lately about concepts of light and dark, love and hate, bravery and fear, compassion and indifference, joy and sadness.

Goddess Inspired

September 18, 2020

Tagged dark, humanity, light, wholeness, yin-yang

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Embracing Our Humanity

I have been thinking a lot lately about concepts of light and dark, love and hate, bravery and fear, compassion and indifference, joy and sadness. Many spiritual teachings would lead me to believe that enlightened beings cannot hold these opposites simultaneously. We are supposed to always be striving to be filled with light, love, bravery, compassion, and joy. If we somehow feel these “lower” emotions, we have strayed from the spiritual path.

Is it really possible or desirable to feel these opposites at the same time? If I may use my own experience as an example – the answer is ‘yes.’

Grief is a perfect example of holding contradictory feelings. When my brother died several years ago, I was filled with so many emotions. I felt deep grief at the loss while at the same time I felt joy and gratitude for the times we had together. I felt totally alone since, with his passing, none of my immediate family remained. Through the many friends who supported me, however, I felt uplifted and connected. I felt anger that he would leave us, but also a sense of hope that his passing was at the right time for him.

I felt all of these emotions, and many more, all at the same time. Each emotion was absolutely appropriate for the time. Each emotion was totally genuine. Each emotion, when taken separately, would seem to be in contradiction to all the other emotions, and yet each one was exactly right.

I keep reading about being a container and holding love and light for these tumultuous times. While I certainly don’t disagree about the goal, I feel that we, as humans, are much more complicated. Personally, I work hard at being a channel for love and light, while at the same time, I feel a great deal of fear for the future. I hold a huge amount of compassion for the world, but I can also feel numbed by the constant barrage of hurt and devastation in the daily news. I am filled with an abiding joy because I have faith in the goodness of humankind, but I also feel a deep sadness because of the evils that I see.

I have a very large dog which wants to protect me from other dogs and golf carts. Because he goes into a frenzy every time he sees either of those things, I take him on his walk very early in the morning before the neighbors venture out. We walk in the dark every day. On these walks I see the play of dark and not so dark. The trees are black against a dark grey sky. The sky gradually begins to lighten with the approach of dawn. The light of the street lamps fades into the surrounding darkness, and the darkness creeps into the light. There is a fading in and out of light and dark. There is seldom a sharp delineation between the two.

Although Patriarchal religion would lead one to believe that light and dark are opposites and that light must always prevail over darkness, I have come to believe otherwise. The Yin and Yang symbols hold their opposites within each side. There is an ebb and flow, each containing the other.

As humans, we are filled with light and dark. We need both. In fact there is no light without darkness. There is no joy without sorrow, bravery without fear, compassion without indifference. Not only do opposites delineate each other, they contain each other.

While Patriarchy would have us eliminate the dark completely, Goddess teaches us to embrace our whole selves, light and dark, joy and sorrow, bravery and fear, compassion and indifference. We find wholeness and balance in accepting ourselves and the full range of our feelings. The containers we hold for ourselves and each other are big enough and strong enough for all of our emotions. As spiritual beings, our task is to midwife the full range of human emotions. In doing so we reveal the true essence of our humanity. The Divine Feminine calls us to be fully human, to embrace the light and the dark, to revel in the opposites, and to love ourselves as we walk this human/divine path.

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New blogs will be added to this post every Friday.

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About Me

I am a seeker of truth, a truth teller, a lover of the Divine Feminine, an aspiring writer, a mystery, an open book, a work in progress. I have lived a long and varied life, and now in my seventies, I am being called to share some of what I have learned over the years. I hope to share the wisdom of the deep Feminine that is being channeled through me.

If the Goddess has ever whispered to you, I invite you to join me on an incredible journey of love and discovery. May you hear Her wisdom through these words.

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