It is not always easy for women to find their voices. There are so many cultural messages when it comes to speaking our authentic truth and standing in our sovereignty. If I speak my anger, I am a bitch; If I share my grief, I am too emotional; if I am logical and rational, I am cold and unfeeling; if I share my knowledge, I don’t know what I am talking about. Think about those times when strong women speak out, when they call for change, or call out injustice. The media concentrates, not on their words, but what they are wearing. It is no wonder that I, and many other women that I know, have been afraid to use my voice throughout most of my life.
When I began writing these blog posts two years ago, I was determined to use my voice. It is one of the life lessons that I must learn. Of course, I was terrified to publicly speak my truth. Each week, as I posted this blog, I was aware of a deep-seated fear. What would people think? How would they react? Would they reject me because I was writing things that were not main-stream or because they weren’t the same beliefs as everyone else’s?
This has been a profound journey of self-discovery. As I write each week, I am expressing my own spiritual struggles. I am expressing what I hope to become, lessons that I am continuously learning, and concepts that I am exploring. It is obvious that I am a work in progress, and definitely not a finished product. It is a messy process that can’t be wrapped into a neat package and tied with a bow. It is the real me, and it isn’t necessarily pretty.
Each time I hit the send button, I find myself filled with self-doubt, and more than a little fear, about how this week’s writing will be received. Is it good enough? Am I the only one who feels this way? Why did I say that? But each week, I find myself less and less afraid to stand in my own truth. Each time I step out, my voice becomes stronger, and I become more centered into who I am on the deepest level.
As you know, I recently published a book, which is an interactive journal, compiling one year’s worth of my blogs with questions designed to help the reader determine their own spiritual essence. I was terrified for the book to actually be published, but now that it is out, I feel more grounded and real. My true self is out there. The world hasn’t come to an end. My friends haven’t deserted me. I am here. I have spoken my truth.
Finding my voice has been a process consisting of a lifetime of baby steps. Each time I speak my truth, each time I use my voice, each time I offer my vulnerability as well as my strength – these times give me courage to step out the next time. While the fear is still there, it no longer rules me. Fear no longer has the power over me that it once had. I can speak my truth openly and unapologetically. I have found my voice.
As you find your own voice, remember that it is a process. It is one step at a time, and sometimes you fall back and have to begin again. Each time you speak is another step forward to having the courage to speak the next time and the next. We are all in this together, and by sharing our authentic selves, we help others to do the same. How do you want to use your voice?
Barbara Garland
November, 2022
