My husband and I were privileged to attend an opening for the latest restaurant in our city, where we were seated with a lovely young woman who worked for the company which was launching the restaurant. She was probably in her mid to late thirties. (It is hard for me to tell because everyone who is not obviously elderly looks young to me.) We had a pleasant dinner conversation, but it was apparent that her generation has some real fear about the state of the world. There is an underlying angst within her about climate, the treatment of women and minorities, the possibility of war, inequality, injustice, et al.
I believe that many of us feel this uncurrent of uncertainty and fear, but we don’t often allow ourselves to fully feel it, much less share it. I know that my circle of friends tends to try to keep things light. We don’t want to step on toes by venturing into the political realms, so it becomes easier to push those feelings down and pretend as if they didn’t exist. It is easier to wear a cheerful mask and talk about the latest football scores than to confront the existential angst of living in the modern world.
The truth is that I feel deep anguish about the state of the world. I see the brokenness and woundedness that surrounds us. Just last night there was another mass shooting where teenagers were killed. I see racial injustice, poverty, denial of health care to women and the poor, climate disasters, and war. As an empath, I deeply feel the pain of the world.
This morning I was re-reading a book called Circle of Stones: Woman’s Journey to Herself, by Judith Duerk. Written in 1989, this book was one of the first books that led me on my journey to the concept of the Divine Feminine. One of the things Duerk talks about is acknowledging our woundedness. “Only by being present to the woundedness in ourselves can we be present to the woundedness of others…The woundedness in each of us must be fully owned and fully suffered for it to received succor and be comforted.” P. 104
I believe that it is imperative that we acknowledge the wounds that we carry as individuals and collectively as a nation. If we don’t acknowledge the wounds, if we don’t treat them, they will begin to fester and putrefy, infecting us with poison and killing us from within. If we pretend that everything is all right, we will never do anything to correct what is, in truth, killing us. We must be present to our own hurt and anguish, our own wounds in order to heal. We must acknowledge the past in order to heal the present as well as the future.
We have been conditioned to ignore our pain, to work through it. If we ignore it, it will go away. If we pretend like we are perfect, then we are. If we admit there is a problem, then we are weak. However, if we can’t see or acknowledge our own wounds, we can’t see or acknowledge the wounds of others. We are left with pain, frustration, even anger. We either project our wounds onto others or deny the validity of their pain. We are unable to feel empathy or compassion. In the absence of compassion, we substitute rules and laws and never address the root cause of our pain – which is not being present to our own woundedness.
The journey to wholeness is a deeply feminine, inward journey into the darkness and the depths. It is a journey to acknowledge and accept my own wounds, which is the path to healing. It is only when I acknowledge my own wounds that I can be present to the wounds of others and the wounds of the world. When I heal myself, then the ripples go out to heal the world.
Barbara Garland
April, 2023
