Embrace the Capacity to Be with What Is

One of my favorite sayings is, “It is what it is.” Although trite and well-used, this saying has gotten me through some tough times and tough situations over which I had no control. It has helped me navigate those hurtful and tricky places in life that aren’t of my doing, nor are they something that I can change. Deaths of parents and siblings, economic downturns, a global pandemic are all out of my control. They may be cause for grief and worry, but they aren’t anything that I can change or make better.

There are many things in life that just “are.” I don’t cause those things, I can’t change those things. I am not responsible for those things. I can’t wish them away. The only thing that I have control of in these situations is my reaction to that situation. I can be combative, spend time in wishful thinking or worry, deny what is happening, or blame everyone else. Or I can accept whatever the situation is and then determine how I am going to handle it.

Being with what is allows me to shift my perceptions. It allows me to let the feelings flow through me rather than getting stuck in a perpetual negative mindset that amplifies with each thought. It allows me to find something to be grateful for in each situation. It keeps me grounded. It helps me to decide if the situation is one that can or should be changed or if it is just something that I can allow and then let go of. It gives me the opportunity to decide whether to be proactive or reactive in how I face that situation.

Being with what is, is not being passive. Far from it. Rather it is the ability to sit with the situation and then decide how I will respond to that situation. It allows me to connect with my power and choose what is best for me. Being with what is, is in fact, the essence of the deep feminine.