In a Patriarchal culture, having power means having “power over”. The currency of power over can be economic, physical, political, environmental, sexual, emotional, or any combination of these. Power over means winning at all costs, and winning is everything – even if winning ultimately destroys the winner and the prize. Prime examples are Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter and Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. It is the flexing of power that is important. It doesn’t matter that the ultimate outcome destroys lives and wreaks havoc for the rest of the world. It only matters that the perpetrator retains a sense of power over others. In this system, there are different rules for those who have power than for those who are powerless.

When the Divine Feminine comes back into the equation, she brings a different view of power. Power becomes power within, not power over.  In this world view, what is important is claiming one’s own inner power, claiming one’s own inner sense of self. In this paradigm, winning and conquest are not important. I don’t care if I go home with the most marbles. I do care if I played the game fairly and was a gracious winner or loser.

When the Divine Feminine and the Divine Masculine are in balance, I am able to claim my own inner authority to act with love. I am able to see others, not as potential conquests, but as being an extension of myself. I am able to see through the eyes of my heart, not my ego. I am filled with compassion and empathy, not with schemes to win at all costs. I am able to see and acknowledge the pain of others as well as my own pain.

But acting with love and compassion does not mean that I capitulate to the whims or demands of others. Rather it means that I recognize that what is right for me is not necessarily right for another. I am able to stand in my sovereignty while acknowledging the sovereignty of another. I empathize with the pain of another, but I keep my boundaries strong enough, in love, not to get sucked into their goo. I don’t have to win, but neither do I lose who I am at my deepest core. Acknowledging another’s pain doesn’t mean that I agree with them; it means that they are free to be who they are while I am who I am.

When I rest in my own inner authority and tap into the power within, my ego begins to fade into the background. It becomes less and less important that I win or that I am right. I begin to lose the desire to always win or to exercise power over. I become more able to see that while my way is right for me, it isn’t always right for someone else. I stand in my truth and allow others to stand in theirs. I don’t have to amass money and power or to always win. I have a healthy balance between the agency of the masculine and the receptivity of the feminine. I can be content with taking care of my own soul without having to pretend I know what is right for anyone else’s.

When I tap into my own inner power, I become enough, just as I am.

Barbara Garland
November, 2022