What is it that turns off in a brain so that reason cannot get in? When my dog, Hank, hears a golf cart, his fear response goes into overdrive. At that point, not even food can bring him back. All he can hear, see, or sense is the object that causes the reaction. At that point, he has no idea that he is snapping at me, whom he loves, in order to get to the object of his wrath.
So it is with some people – when the object of their hatred is in sight, no amount of rational thought can get into their brains. They are deeply into fight or flight. They are totally irrational.
It seems to me that our reactions to almost everything are based either on fear or love. There is nothing else. While it sounds simple, it is actually quite complex. We act out of fear because we are afraid, -afraid of not being loved and accepted – by others, by God, even by our own selves.
To further complicate the picture, we also fear our inner shadows. A shadow is that within ourselves which we perceive is unacceptable. Instead of accepting that I have the capacity to be a liar, thief, or even a murderer, I project all those parts of myself onto others. In doing so it is easy to lump types of people into certain categories. For example – all Muslims are terrorists, all black people are in gangs, all gay people are pedophiles, all women are emotional, all men are misogynist …you get the picture. Once our brains lump people into these categories, it is easy for us to see them as other, as less than human, as objects to be feared and reviled.
Politicians and marketers play on these fears of the other all the time. It is so easy to exploit our inner fears by pointing to others as the cause of all our problems. Because we are afraid that we will lose and the others will win, just like Hank, we become irrational, and no amount of reason can change our point of view. We project our own shadow selves onto those people, and those people become the cause of the ills of the world.
It is important then to do our shadow work, so that we do not fall prey to projecting our fears onto everyone else. Yes, I do have the same capacity as anyone else to be a liar, a murderer, a thief; but I also have the capacity to be a kind and loving human being. I have the choice of which path to follow – love or fear.
I choose to follow the way of love. It is in that choice that I can begin to empathize with all human beings, to understand that my experience and theirs may be different. I have the capacity for good and evil; it is my choice. I can choose the way of love by working with and recognizing my own shadows. I can choose the way of love by recognizing that the thing I abhor in others is the thing I abhor in myself. I can choose the way of love by recognizing that everyone is made in the image of the Divine – that we are all one. I am neither better nor worse than anyone else. We are all creations of the Divine, and it is my job to look at everyone through the eyes of love.
Barbara Garland
August, 2023
