I have been out of town this week, hence the weekend blog. As I thought about what to write, I turned to my Native Spirit oracle deck (by Denise Linn). The card I drew this morning was the “Wounded Healer.”
As I pondered the meaning of the card, I realized that we can all be wounded healers. Everyone is wounded, and everyone has the capability of healing themselves and others. Everyone has been wounded by life’s ups and downs. Everyone has been hurt, many times inadvertently, by the people they love or the people who love them. Everyone has also been hurt by life circumstances – death, job loss, changes of fortune, what they were born into, or random happenstance. No one goes through life without wounds.
My choices come from how I deal with those wounds. Do I become bitter and stuck, do I live in denial, or do I do my best to heal and forgive? As I navigate life with all its large and small wounds, my spiritual imperative is to learn to grow through those wounds. But an interesting thing can happen. As I deal with grief and loss, I become more attuned to the grief and loss that others are experiencing in their lives.
Many years ago, when I was dealing with the loss of my first marriage, I realized that in my grief, I was more able to recognize the grief of others. I could see the grief in their eyes, because there was grief in my own. I became more empathetic, more attuned to the wounds that other people were experiencing. I didn’t have to be healed to be a friend or to be more compassionate. It was precisely because I was wounded that I was open to the pain of others.
It is analogous to the “let them eat cake” syndrome. If I am comfortable in my little corner of the world, it is hard to have compassion for those who are struggling. If I am aware of my own struggles, my own wounds, it is easier to understand that others struggle too and that there are no easy answers for any of us. Our woundedness binds us together. We become moved by compassion for those who are experiencing life’s difficulties, precisely because we know how it feels to be in their shoes.
As I navigate my own spiritual and emotional growth, I realize that my own woundedness is my greatest gift. It is the source of my growth and the path to healing. It is the door to greater compassion, awareness, and empathy for others.
I don’t have to have all the answers, nor do all my wounds have to be healed, to be a healer. I only have to be willing to see the other person through the eyes of compassion and empathy. I must be willing to recognize that my grief and loss are the same as yours, no matter what causes that grief. I must be willing to do the best I can to heal my own wounds while accepting that others are also wounded. And together we can heal each other.
Barbara Garland
October, 2022
