Reclaiming Myself Through Spiritual Practice

During the shut-down of 2020 I resolved to develop a morning practice of meditation and journaling. It became an amazing practice that grounded me and inspired me to write these blogs. I loved my mornings of quiet meditation and communion with God/dess. It was a habit that sustained me throughout the uncertainty of the pandemic.

Once things began to open up and go back to “normal,” I began to find excuses for not engaging in my practice. I had early morning Zoom meetings; I was too busy; the meditations on my morning walks would suffice. I gradually let my practice go.

Now I am feeling disjointed, adrift, without an anchor. It is hard to be motivated. I am feeling blocked and uninspired. It is a huge effort to write, and when I do, I am not happy with the results.

Over many years of being on a spiritual path, I have found that my daily practices come and go, depending on the circumstances of my life. Quiet time with myself and Spirit  is usually the most difficult to maintain when I need it the most. Those times when life is overwhelmingly busy and stressful are the times when it is the hardest to carve out time for myself.

What I have found over and over again, however, is that without a consistent spiritual practice, my life falls apart. I become more and more stressed, anxious, depressed, angry, or numb. I am unable to focus on things that matter, and I flit from thing to thing. I am more judgmental and less loving. I become less and less the person I want to be.

While a daily meditative time doesn’t change the world, it changes me. It keeps me grounded and centered. The stresses of living are still there, of course, but my reaction to those stressors is different. I am more able to allow the stress to flow through me without holding onto it in my body. I am calmer and less judgmental. I am more in flow rather than in reaction.

I am born to be connected with God/dess, but most of the time I let life get in the way. When I sit in the quiet – meditating, praying, contemplating, emptying, listening – I open the door to communion with that which is greater than myself. I allow life, in all its messiness to flow around me and through me. I am able to stay centered and grounded in the deep abiding love of God/dess. I stay connected with my own Soul.

To expect to stay centered in this hectic, stressful world without a daily spiritual practice is like expecting to be a musical virtuoso without lessons or practice. It can’t be done. And it is a matter of practicing, practicing, practicing until I know who I truly am – a beautiful Soul on a spiritual journey, becoming, through practice, a spiritual virtuoso.  

So once again, I will claim my time with myself and God/dess. I will once again be still and listen; I will write; I will meditate; I will once again allow myself the time and the space to be in tune with my true self. I invite you to join me on this incredible journey.

Barbara Garland
November 2021