Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with a friend about faith. When she asked me to define what faith meant to me, I will admit that I had no easy answers.

Merriam Webster defines faith as: (1) belief and trust in and loyalty to God; (2) belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion; (3) firm belief in something for which there is no proof; (4) complete trust.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/faith

For anyone who has read any of my blogs, it is clear that the religion of my childhood is no longer the basis for my faith. The male Christian God, especially the one from my Southern Baptist upbringing, holds no place in my personal definition or practice of my faith.

As I look at definition (1) belief and trust in and loyalty to God, the word God conjures up a mental picture of the bearded man in the sky – the one who demands absolute loyalty and who judges us as bad from the moment of our birth. This is not a being in whom I wish to place my trust and loyalty. This is the toxic God from whom many of are fleeing. This is the God who has no room for anything less than perfection, who denies the deep, dark juiciness of the earth,  and who denies the feminine, the God who is the perpetrator of toxic patriarchy.

Definition (2) belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion also leaves me cold. There are so many religions in the world, each proclaiming that theirs is the only way to God. I have left behind the religion of my childhood; I don’t wish to become entangled in another religion filled with doctrines that I must follow or be forever damned. As I think about my faith, religion seems to be an obstacle to faith rather than a bridge. I suppose it is because for me religion has always been full of contradictions, more about rules than about love. In some respects many world religions reek of power and domination. Religious doctrine is a way to keep people in their place, not about raising people up. It is about keeping the status quo for those who are in positions of power and influence, not about solving problems that would make the world a better place.

Definitions (3) and (4) make much more sense to me. Faith is firm belief in something for which there is no proof and it is complete trust. In leaving behind the religious traditions of my youth, I have taken a huge leap of faith. Most people in my community would condemn me for leaving behind religion and opening myself to something entirely new. There is no proof that my way is THE WAY. There is no proof that abandoning religion for Spirituality is a truer path than my old religion. In fact there is no proof that God/Goddess/Source/ really exists for that matter.

What I have learned over many years is that my faith is rooted in my trust of my own inner knowing, my intuition. There is something inside of me that resonates when I hear a truth that is meant for me. There is that deep AHA moment that recognizes that what I am hearing is true. It is my internal gnosis which cuts through the doctrine and dogma which seeks to disconnect me from my direct connection with whatever I name Source.

There is no proof that there is a benevolent Source, a Divine Entity that loves us deeply and eternally. But when I feel the wind on my face, when I see a magnificent sunset, when I gaze on the full moon, when I watch a baby being born or a toddler take its first steps – I am filled with a faith and a surety that I am held by something much greater than myself, that I am a part of the earth, and that I am loved beyond measure. It is an inner knowing that I am a part of and connected to all that is. It is an inner conviction that doesn’t need proof, a surety that resides within. This is my faith, a faith which doesn’t need religion and is beyond all religion.

Barbara Garland
January, 2023