I am a person who lives in her head. My mind is constantly thinking, flitting from subject to subject, worrying, contemplating, or just having random thoughts. I can easily think about a myriad of things. I know concepts in my head and grasp ideas quickly. I make connections that others might not see. What I don’t do is listen to my body.
Patriarchal religion has a history of denying and denigrating the body. Early Christians denied and mutilated their bodies, and certain religious rites, even today, involve scourging and body mutilation. Everything of the body was of the earth and darkness, or more precisely the feminine. As science came into prominence, the world of ideas became the primary way of knowing, while the instinctual and the body’s way of knowing was relegated to the realm of superstition. Consequently, we have lost a primary way of relating to Source. We think we know things in our head, but we don’t know how to embody those things in our hearts.
The great religious teachers came to earth in bodies. They had all the bodily functions, emotions, and desires of any human being. They were intimately acquainted with the human condition because they were human. But our religions have tended to separate the spirit/mind from the body, and we ignore the not only the connection between the two, but the body itself.
In my mind, I can theologize, philosophize, debate, and discuss concepts ad infinitum. For example, I know in my mind what forgiveness means, but until I can move the concept to my heart and feel it in my body, I cannot forgive. Intellectually I know that I need to be love in the world, but until I feel it in my body, I can only talk about it, not actually be it. I know in my head that I am enough, just as I am, but until I bring that concept into my body, I will forever be striving to earn approval.
An ancient Zen Koan says that before enlightenment one needs to chop wood and carry water. And after enlightenment one needs to chop wood and carry water. What that means to me is that enlightenment comes from the body and from living life in the body. Chopping wood, carrying water, walking barefoot in the grass, listening to birdsong, holding a wriggly puppy – these are the things that ground us in the body while opening us to the eternal.
All the great philosophies are nothing if they remain in my head. I come to Source as a body, as a human experiencing the world through my senses. I must open myself to feeling in my body what I am experiencing in my head so that I may truly experience the divine.
This morning the moon was gloriously full during my early walk. I marveled at the beautiful radiance shining down on me and the dark earth. It felt in my body like I was being held, and I was filled with gratitude that I was able to experience such a moment. All the theology and philosophy in the world meant nothing in comparison to that moment when I felt the deep love of the heavens in my body.
Barbara Garland
August, 2022
