More on BEING LOVE

After I wrote last week’s blog, I had a deep discussion with a friend of mine about what it really means to BE LOVE. We agreed that is it something that we are striving for as we navigate our lives. It is also something that we fall short of.

My friend came up with some questions that led me into even deeper thought about how and when I feel that I am Being Love. As I pondered these questions, I realized that I have felt love most deeply when I am Doing Love, when I am performing physical acts of service for those people that I already love. For example, I felt like I was truly connected in love to the Divine when I was physically caring for my dying father in ways I never would have imagined. While he and I didn’t always see eye to eye, taking care of his needs was an act of service and gratitude for his part in making me the woman I became.

 It seems to me that in that instance, it was easy to BE LOVE. I already loved my father, so it wasn’t difficult to take the love a step further. This first step in BEING LOVE can be the gateway to something deeper and more radical. If I can remember what this love felt like, then I have a model to follow to exemplify this love towards people I don’t already love, toward people I don’t know, toward those whose behaviors seem unthinkable or even evil.

This is where we are called upon to stretch into our divine selves and become more than we are. This is where we are asked to BE LOVE. I am asked to BE LOVE to someone I vehemently disagree with, to someone whose vision of truth is totally opposite from mine, to someone who is angry or violent, or seemingly deranged. How can I BE LOVE in that instance? How can I move from my righteous anger to love?

It helps to remember that loving someone is not necessarily condoning their actions. As I said last week, anyone who has children understands that we deeply love them, but we certainly don’t always approve of their actions. Actions have consequences, and love demands that we allow those consequences to play out, no matter how much we love our children and want to protect them from pain.

It also helps if I live in the moment. If I see each moment as a choice to love or not to love, in this moment can I envision the hurt child inside of that person who makes me angry? Can I recognize the shadow in that other person that is also the shadow inside of me? Can I understand the fear that drives the actions of that other person? While I may not condone the actions of another, I can choose in each moment to see more deeply into the heart of another and radiate love into the woundedness of their souls.

Last week I saw that the other side of my anger was grief. Someone else might see the other side of their anger as fear. When I sat with both the anger and the grief, what emerged was a diamond. As I continue to ponder the meaning of the diamond, I am learning that in order to BE LOVE, I must acknowledge all of my feelings – the rage and the grief. I must transfigure my emotions into something new.  I must open myself and choose the radical step of love and empathy for another’s wounds, while also acknowledging my own wounds and blind spots. I must choose in each moment what it feels like to BE LOVE and radiate that out to those who are radically different than I.

If in that transfiguration process, there is still residual anger, then I must use the energy of that anger as an impetus for change and growth, rather than spewing the anger. I must tap into that angry energy in order to bring something entirely new into the world, the diamond that transforms, the jewel of great value. This is what I am called to do and to be – to BE LOVE.

Barbara Garland
January, 2021