I have been doing a lot of thinking about my connectedness to the Divine Feminine/Goddess/Source. Over the past month or so, I have let my daily practice of writing and meditation slip. I let myself get distracted with to-dos and all of a sudden my day is gone without my having meditated or journaled. I have let my focus shift away from my spiritual practice to the mundane, the consequences of which have put me into a kind of half melancholy, disconnected state that feels empty. I don’t feel connected to the God/dess. I know that I must return to my daily spiritual practice, but what else can I do to restore that feeling of connectedness with the Divine?

I know that I am always connected to the Divine, but sometimes I don’t feel it. I know that God/dess dwells within me and always holds me in love, but many times I don’t feel Her presence. What I know in my head doesn’t always connect to my heart.

As I spoke to my spiritual director this week, we talked about how what we feel isn’t always the truth. What we feel about something, while it feels true to us, is really the product of how we think about something. If we change how we think, we change how we feel. For example if I think that the person who raced ahead of me in traffic is just being a jerk, I will probably have a little flare of anger. If, however, I think that person is rushing to the hospital, I feel empathy and compassion. Neither scenario may be true, but the thought determines the emotion.

I can’t always be in the middle of a mountain-top experience. Neither will I always be in the depths of despair. Most of the time I live in a neutral position, neither up nor down. But sometimes that neutral position seems blah and disconnected. Instead of focusing on the blah feeling, what would happen if I were to shift my thinking and change my perspective to see the miracles that exist in this moment.

If I think only about the seemingly unsolvable world problems, if I focus only on what is wrong with the world then I have trouble feeling connected to what seems to be an uncaring god. However, if I shift my focus to gratitude, and begin to see everything as a miracle, I then feel more connected to the Source of all things.

Feeling connected then, is really about changing my perspective. It is moving from seeing what is wrong or, even what is neutral, to seeing the sacredness of everything. It is seeing a miracle in the flight of a bird or the deer outside my back door. It is being grateful that I can walk two miles every day and that my mind is still reasonably intact. It is moving from the macrocosm to the microcosm, from the big, overwhelming picture to the miracle of everyday life. It is appreciating every moment as a miracle – I live, I breathe, I am. And God/dess is with me in that life and breath and being, whether or not I feel Her presence at any given time. I only have to look around me and be grateful for the miracles of life.

Barbara Garland
May, 2023