Square Peg, Round Hole
It is only when I allow my unique self to shine that I can allow others to shine.
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Lessons from the Shadows
Where does wholeness comes from, and how do my shadow selves contribute or detract from my wholeness? My question to myself is “What can I learn from my shadow selves?”
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Lessons from the Shadows
I continue to be intrigued by the idea of wholeness. Where does wholeness comes from, and how do my shadow selves contribute or detract from my wholeness? My question to myself is “What can I learn from my shadow selves?”
First I have to recognize and name my shadows, which I define as ‘those parts of myself that I do not want to acknowledge.’ While most of us think that our shadows are the ugly parts of ourselves, they can also be the strengths that we don’t want to claim. Our shadows are the parts of ourselves which we developed in childhood. As small children, we counted on those parts of ourselves to help us survive.
As I work with my own shadow self, I have recognized several traits that have both helped me and hurt me in my life. They are perfectionism, the need to be in control, practicality, hyper-responsibility, and fearfulness to be truly seen for who I am.
PERFECTIONISM – Perfectionism leads to the idea that I am never enough. No matter what I do, it isn’t good enough because I can never be perfect. It also puts everything on my shoulders, since no one else can do things right. So I not only set myself up to be not good enough, I set up impossible standards for the people around me. I end up depriving myself of help and support. Then I become resentful and burned out. It is a perfect circular conundrum. On the other hand, perfectionism can drive me to do an excellent job on every task I undertake. Employers love me because whatever I do, I do well. I am rewarded for the very thing that sets me up for burn-out and stress.
CONTROL – I feel the need to be in control of every situation. I have a hard time letting go and allowing others to be in charge. This ties in neatly with perfectionism. Things must be done perfectly, and of course I am the only one who can do things right. When I think I am in control, my anxiety lessens because I think that I can avoid ugly surprises. But of course, control is an illusion. It disallows spontaneity, and it keeps others in a position of inferiority.
I THINK I AM BEGINNING TO SEE A PATTERN HERE.
PRACTICALITY – I see practicality as one of my greatest strengths, but it is also one of my greatest blind spots. Practicality helps me manage money, keeps me from overindulging, keeps me grounded, and helps me to not be envious of others. I pride myself on being practical. However, practicality sometimes allows me to deny my own needs and the needs of others to indulge in occasional extravagances, or even silliness. It doesn’t allow me to play or relax. More importantly, it keeps me in a state of denial about my own intuition and my intuitive process (because intuition usually always leads me to wildly impractical actions).
HYPER-REPONSIBILITY – I am a first-born child. My mother was super-practical, responsible, and strong. My father was a strong disciplinarian. Being responsible was drilled into me from an early age. I became responsible for my little brother, my school work (which had to be perfect), and my own behavior. I short, in my child’s eyes, I became responsible for everything, and of course everything had to be perfect. Again, being the hyper-responsible person that I am, I have to be in control of everything – and everything I do must be practical and perfect.
YIKES!
FEARFULNESS – In my family, we were not allowed to “talk back” or be sassy. Back-talk included anything said in my own defense or anything that did not agree with what my parents were saying. I learned at an early age that my opinions were to be kept to myself. I learned not to speak out or speak my truth. I learned to defer to those whom I perceived to have power over me. I learned to avoid saying anything that might lead to criticism. I hid my light and my talents. I allowed myself to be invisible because I was afraid. That fearfulness to speak out kept me out of trouble as a child, but it has kept me from speaking out as an adult.
So how do these shadow parts of myself contribute to my wholeness? They all have served a purpose in what my little child-self thought was survival. They helped me navigate an uncertain and confusing world. In many ways, they actually contributed to my success as a functioning adult. It is not always bad to do the best you can in the most practical, responsible way that you know how. It is not always bad to keep quiet in certain situations.
When I am unconscious of my shadow selves, however, I am divided against myself. I am caught in not understanding why I do what I do. I am unaware of how my shadow affects my life. I now believe that it is in the conscious acceptance of our shadow selves that we become whole.
So now I want to say thank you to my shadow selves for doing an amazing job of protecting me. You have kept me safe in many situations, helping me to navigate difficult times in my life. Now, with gratitude, I want to invite you to become my conscious partners and friends. I want to be able to invite you into my life when I need you. I want you to be ready to jump in when it is appropriate. But I am now the boss. I need you to wait until I ask you for help. I need you to be part of my life as a conscious and coherent team which I coordinate and use as needed. I need for you to come out of the shadows and become a conscious part of who I truly am – a whole and complete human being, a vessel holding space for unconditional love. I am enough! I am
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Lying Fallow
In the tumult of today’s world, I need to quiet my soul, to stop the gerbil-on-the-wheel thoughts that invade my mind and keep me agitated and upset. I need to lie fallow for a while, to rest in the deep knowing that I am held and that I am worthy whether or not I am doing anything or accomplishing anything. It is the ultimate self-care – to lie fallow for a while, while my roots grow deep, and I reconnect with who I am at the deepest level.
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Lying Fallow
“Sometimes a man can be a lot like a farm. He lets his heart lay fallow for a while, and instead of his feelings dying out, they just go dormant, his emotions growing deeper and stronger as time passes. A person only needs to clear away the weeds on the surface to uncover them.” — Linda Kage
This week I have felt empty, out-of-sorts, and out-of-tune. I feel like the world is closing in on all of us, and I am helpless to make a difference. I feel burned out and tired – tired of the negativity and lack of compassion that I see manifesting daily. Although it is a foolish notion, I feel the weight of the world, and my empathic self wants to be able to flip a switch that will change it.
In this kind of emotional turmoil, I need to let go. I need to allow these feelings to alchemize into something deeper, to transform into something totally different. To do that I need to allow myself to lie fallow.
In agriculture, allowing the land to lie fallow gives it an opportunity to rest and renew. So it is in humans; we must rest in order to be productive later. For me, that means allowing myself to just be while doing the things that nurture my soul. Walking, painting, journaling, meditating, conversations with friends, even mindless video games, can allow my brain to rest or to be engaged in a new way. These things feed me and fill me up. They energize me and allow me to escape the circular thoughts that keep me trapped in my head.
I know that I am not the only one who is feeling the daily negativity. I know that I am not the only one who is feeling helpless to make a difference. While I know that I am more than this body and these thoughts, it is easy to forget that I am not alone, that there is a Source who upholds me even during the worst of times. It is easy to forget that I am enough – that I don’t have to do anything to be loved beyond measure.
In the tumult of today’s world, I need to quiet my soul, to stop the gerbil-on-the-wheel thoughts that invade my mind and keep me agitated and upset. I need to lie fallow for a while, to rest in the deep knowing that I am held and that I am worthy whether or not I am doing anything or accomplishing anything. It is the ultimate self-care – to lie fallow for a while, while my roots grow deep, and I reconnect with who I am at the deepest level.
Barbara Garland
July 2020
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Visioning A New World
As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, creativity and community are essential ingredients to give us hope that a better world is possible. Out of the chaos, I am called upon to imagine a new world order and to give voice to that new vision at every opportunity. People cannot envision what they have never seen, and it is up to us to create a new picture of what is possible.
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Visioning a New World
Last week I wrote of the rage and despair that I and millions of other women are feeling after the loss of Roe V Wade. It is a festering wound that invokes feelings of helplessness and hopelessness in me. It is a visceral loss that raises ancient memories of witch burnings and slavery. Control of women’s bodies is the ultimate overreach of patriarchal power.
But overturning Roe is not the only display of patriachy. Overriding environmental protections, refusal to do anything about gun violence, overturning voting rights – these are all based in a patriarchal system that denies and denigrates the Divine Feminine. It shows up in the idea of conquest, machismo, greed, control, and holding onto power at all costs. It is deeply destructive to our earth, women, people of color, indigenous people, other-gendered people, and to those who are not part of the patriarchal power structure.
As I face the chaos caused by this blatant power grab, how do I, as a spiritual being stay rooted and grounded? How do I deal with the overwhelming feelings of loss and betrayal in a way that can usher in real change? I have been deeply pondering these questions as I have found myself in the darkness of these days.
As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, creativity and community are essential ingredients to give us hope that a better world is possible. Out of the chaos, I am called upon to imagine a new world order and to give voice to that new vision at every opportunity. People cannot envision what they have never seen, and it is up to us to create a new picture of what is possible.
I am usually a glass half-empty kind of person who tends to imagine the worst-case scenario instead of the best. Instead of seeing gloom and destruction, I need to begin to envision something entirely new – a world where everyone has enough, a world where our earth is tended to with loving care, a world where people are respected for their hearts, a world where men and women are equal partners, a world where greed is not the order of the day. I need to see that vision clearly and hold onto that vision no matter how difficult that may be.
I then need to creatively open myself to the possibilities that make that hope come alive. I need to create a new space in my soul that radiates that new vision. I need to lovingly create something new, to manifest love in everything I do, to make my own space a sanctuary for others. The chaos and despair then become catalysts for building something entirely new. Whatever I create in love moves out into the world in ways that I cannot foresee. The lotus blossom grows from the muck, and the phoenix rises out of the fire.
But I can’t hold that new vision by myself. I need to build a community which can share that vision, a community in which we uplift each other and live out our vision for a better future for all. Together we can create that ripple effect that will help build a new world order based on love and reciprocity. Together we become a strong force for change and growth out of the darkness of patriarchy and into a world of wholeness and balance.
I invite you to creatively vision a new world and to share it in community. Every other Sunday afternoon, I meet by Zoom with a small community of women who are spiritual seekers. If you are interested in joining us, contact me, and I will share our meeting times.
Barbara Garland
July 2022
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Heartbroken
For now, I will hold space for myself and others to feel this deep grief and anger, to feel all the feelings that are present. I will be still and listen to the voice of love and connection, the voice of the Divine Feminine as she leads me to a place of transformation and guides me to loving actions, whatever those actions may be.
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Heartbroken
The last couple of weeks have brought me to my knees. After the Supreme Court struck down Roe V. Wade I found myself weeping with rage and despair. It felt like the rug had been jerked out from under me and left me to fall into the never-ending abyss. I know that I and millions of other women feel betrayed by a toxic Patriarchy that sees women (and others) as objects, not full human beings. We feel betrayed by our country, which no longer treats us as full citizens with rights to our own bodies. My granddaughters will no longer have the same rights as I had when I was their age. I am angry, I am frustrated, and I am depressed by those very real facts.
As I see it, pro-life politics is really anti-life. The only concern of pro-lifers is a life in the womb. Once a child is born, they are unconcerned with the aftermath. Hence, we are one of the few developed nations without universal health care, paid parental leave, and other safety nets that support families, especially the poor and marginalized. Why aren’t pro-lifers anti-death penalty? Why are they gutting environmental protections that just might keep the world from climate disaster? Why are they not passing meaningful gun control?
There is no concern for the woman who is being forced to give birth. Pregnancy is much more dangerous to a woman than abortion. The maternal mortality rate in this country is the highest in the world for a developed nation, and it is rising, not falling. In Texas, where I live, the maternal mortality rate is higher than in Kazakhstan, Turkey, or Chile. Where is the concern for the life of the mother or for the child forced to bear a child? Where is the common-sense medical component that allows a woman and her doctor to make decisions that could save the mother’s life? Where is the compassion for the children that already exist when another mouth to feed will force everyone to go hungry?
Let’s get real. The reason for taking away a woman’s agency over her own body is to exercise control. It is based in the patriarchal view that a woman is less than human and that she should be controlled by an all-powerful male god or his surrogates, also men (or women who have bought into the lie). While this is never spoken aloud, it is played out in churches around the country. The debate is never about the equal responsibility of male and female in pregnancy. It is about forcing a woman to give birth. It is about punishing her for the “sin” of having sex.
I am both pro-choice and pro-life. I am not advocating for abortion on demand. In my mind, there should be a time limit that ends when a baby is viable. Before then, it is the woman’s choice to decide on the most life-affirming course of action. That choice does not belong to a politician or to government but to a woman and her medical provider.
In this blog, I have always tried to bring a loving, spiritual perspective to deep and thorny questions. It is my way of digging deep for myself and hopefully inspiring others along the way. My perspective is not one of right or wrong, but of trying to see the whole elephant. I have thought deeply on this subject, and it leads me to following the thread of love. What is the most loving response for the woman who is pregnant? What will lead to the most loving outcome and the least trauma for her and her family?
I continue to feel enraged, frustrated, despairing, terrified, helpless, and sometimes hopeless in the face of the Supreme Court decision. I, and many others, have been plunged into the very dark night of the soul. We are desperately trying to find hope for ourselves and all women in this impossible situation. There are no easy answers, and glimmers of hope are hard to see.
For now, I will hold space for myself and others to feel this deep grief and anger, to feel all the feelings that are present. I will be still and listen to the voice of love and connection, the voice of the Divine Feminine as she leads me to a place of transformation and guides me to loving actions, whatever those actions may be.
Barbara Garland
July, 2022
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Making Space for Transformation
As I ground myself in silence and make space for creation, the grief and despair them becomes transformed into something totally new. It opens me to a joy and hope that ripples out into the world. The cauldron that once held grief and despair has alchemized the old mess into gold.
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Making Space for Transformation
I think that most of my readers will agree that there is a heaviness to the world that most of us have never felt before. Pandemic, wars, political divides, climate change – it all seems overwhelming. Personally, I feel a deep grief for the state of the world as well as a tremendous dread for the future of our country and the planet. I continue to struggle with these feelings. How do I radiate love and joy when I feel these negative feelings so deeply?
This week I listened to a podcast from Lee Harris. “Lee is a globally acclaimed Energy Intuitive, Channeler and Musician who offers grounded, practical teachings focused on helping conscious, intuitive, and sensitive people heal, thrive, and live a better life!” https://www.leeharrisenergy.com/
In his podcast, Harris talked about the emotional and structural instability that we are feeling, both individually and collectively. It is a liminal time, a threshold time where some of us look back with longing for the old ways, some of us don’t know where to look, and others are looking forward. This threshold is an uncomfortable and difficult place to be in, since, as the old passes away, I don’t have any idea what the new looks like. How then do I navigate these unsettling emotions? How do I acknowledge and hold these feelings until they can be transformed into a positive blueprint for the future, not just my future, but the future of our world?
I firmly believe that the Divine Feminine calls those on the spiritual path to hold these feelings of grief, despair, and hopelessness. I must acknowledge these feelings, hold these feelings, and ultimately alchemize these feelings into something totally new. But how do I do that? How do I become an alchemical cauldron that changes these negative feelings into love and joy?
Harris posits that my power lies in silence and in creativity. Divine energy wants to help me during these difficult times, but I must quiet myself long enough to listen. I must practice stillness every day in order to ground myself in the depth of the universe. I must open myself to my intuition, to nature, and to being present in the Presence of divine energy. I must create space for the transformation to take place. In that space I can then open myself to the joy of co-creating in this world.
Creation is an act of bringing something new into the world. Creation doesn’t have to be art; it doesn’t even have to be ‘good’ to be creative. It is simply making something new, and everyone is capable and called to be creative. As I create, I expand – thoughts, ideas, words, art, music, math, childrearing, engineering, love – and that expansion opens space for growth and change in myself and the world. It makes space for transformation in myself. And when I transform, the world transforms.
As I ground myself in silence and make space for creation, the grief and despair them becomes transformed into something totally new. It opens me to a joy and hope that ripples out into the world. The cauldron that once held grief and despair has alchemized the old mess into gold.
Barbara Garland
June, 2022
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Service Changes the World
When thousands of us join together with our time and our treasure, we can begin to change the world.
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Service Changes the World
Tomorrow I am getting on a bus to attend one day of the week-long Rotary International Convention in Houston. While there I will visit the House of Friendship, which will showcase Rotary service projects from around the world. These projects include prosthetic limbs, wheelchairs, cleft palate surgeries, literacy, peacemaking, improving the lives of women and girls, and others too numerous to mention. The convention itself will focus on this year’s theme, Serve to Change Lives and will include sessions on increasing club diversity and carrying out meaningful service projects.
I have been a Rotarian for 13 years, and my husband has been a member for over 50 years. Although the perception of Rotary over the years has been one of good old boys having lunch, the truth is that Rotary is a dynamic group of men and women whose motto is service above self. It is an organization dedicated to service and solving real world problems. Through the Rotary International Foundation, this worldwide organization has eliminated polio in all but two countries. It has built countless water systems, provided thousands of wheelchairs, built libraries, funded drug rehab centers and job training programs, given scholarships, and worked diligently for peace through exchange programs and international peace programs.
In several previous blogs, I have struggled with what I can do to make a difference in the world. Things seem bleak and hopeless in so many areas of life, and it is difficult to think that anything that I do will help. As I continue to struggle with these issues, it occurred to me that my involvement in Rotary and in other worthy causes is what I can do. I can’t save the whole world, but my involvement in trying to make a difference through Rotary and other organizations can help people have better lives and provide opportunities that they wouldn’t have had otherwise. It can make a difference one person at a time.
Being involved in something greater than oneself may not seem like much. But my small effort contributes to the whole. When I join with other people in a small service project, our joint efforts produce something much bigger than any of us could accomplish alone. Our joint efforts move the needle just a little in a more positive direction. When thousands of us join together with our time and our treasure, we can begin to change the world.
When I look at what organizations, not just Rotary, accomplish for peace and understanding around the world I begin to see that change can happen, that peace is possible, and that by joining those efforts, I can make a difference. Whether it is Rotary or some other organization, find a place to plug in where you can serve others in some small way. It will bring brightness to your own life while changing the world one small step at a time.
Barbara Garland
June, 2022
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ENOUGH!!!
Stand up for life and love by doing everything you can to become agents of change.
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ENOUGH!!!
The past two weeks have brought me to my knees – first the shooting in Buffalo, and then the massacre of children in Uvalde. I am overcome with grief and anger at the senseless murder of innocents, AGAIN! I don’t know what to do with the incredibly deep sadness that I feel. And I daresay that those of you who follow this blog are feeling very much the same emotions.
How do we as a country justify the 214 mass shootings, 77 of them on school campuses, in 2022? We are not even halfway through the year, and over 17,000 people have already died by gun violence, according to the Gun Violence Archive. Why are we not rising and demanding action by our elected officials? How can we casually accept these shootings as normal and just move on to the next news cycle? I am not usually political in this blog, but I am sick to death of this cycle of gun death. Today, my spirituality demands that I become vocal about the political.
I am so tired of the platitudes: “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” “It is a mental health issue.” “A good guy with a gun will stop a bad guy with a gun.” “Arm teachers; lock all the doors; blah, blah, blah!” That to me is a load of c..p!
The more guns that are out there, the easier it is for someone to be shot. If a gun is available in a heated argument, it is easy to use a gun. Yes, people kill people, because they have easy access to guns. Yes, it can be a mental health issue, but we haven’t enacted laws that keep mentally ill people from owning guns, nor have we allocated funds to help people, especially young people, to get the help they need. Sometimes the good guys stop the bad guys, but sometimes the good guys get killed. Ditto for arming teachers. And yes, in Uvalde, the door was locked with the killer inside (according to the articles available at this writing).
This country has made gods of guns. The ability to own a gun, with no restrictions whatsoever, has taken precedence over the lives of children. The ability to have an assault rifle to play with is more important than keeping children safe.
The current Republican party in Texas has been bought and sold by gun lobbyists. Senator Cruz has received over $440,000 and Senator Cornyn, $340,000, making them the top one and three recipients, respectively. That is in addition to political ads purchased on their behalf. Our Texas governor and senator see no irony or problem with speaking to the NRA Convention on May 27, in spite of what happened in Uvalde.
The party in power in this state spends most of its time throwing out red herrings instead of tackling real problems. They have gutted common sense gun laws so that anyone can openly carry a gun, whether or not they have been trained. They have enacted a draconian abortion law which takes away a woman’s bodily autonomy, but they refuse to have common sense gun laws that might save children’s lives. They haven’t fixed the power grid, but they have banned books, written bathroom laws, and threatened to prosecute the parents of transgender children for providing their own children medical care. While they send useless thoughts and prayers, children die every day from gun violence while they refuse to do anything about it.
Enough is enough! It is time for us to stand up and demand common sense gun laws – background checks, red flag laws, waiting periods, age restrictions, and banning assault weapons and high-powered bullets. I grew up with guns. My father and my brother were hunters. I have family members who are trained and responsible gun-owners. Most of these laws won’t change anything for these law-abiding citizens. But those laws just might keep an assault weapon out of the hands of someone who wouldn’t hesitate to kill children.
My youngest grandchild is about the same age as the children who were killed. I can’t imagine the anguish of their loved ones and what they are going through. I keep hearing the words, “Grannies for Justice.” It is time for all grandparents, parents, and anyone who has loved ones to demand justice for their children and grandchildren and all the other folks who have been victims of gun violence. It is time to make sure that we never accept shootings like this as normal, and it is time to vote for candidates who care more about children than about lining their pockets from donations from the gun lobby.
I urge you to stand up for life and love by doing everything you can to become agents of change. Write letters. Make phone calls. Run for office. And above all, vote. If your representative doesn’t represent you, do everything in your power to elect someone who will.
Barbara Garland
May, 2022
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The Cauldron of Transformation
We are the vessels that can hold and ultimately transform these swirling, difficult, contradictory energies. As we transform ourselves, we change the world.
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The Cauldron of Transformation
There are a lot of emotions floating in the ether these days. Deep anger, hate, grief, fear, divisiveness, love, kindness, empathy, compassion, and understanding – all these emotions are swirling around in the cosmos. If you are an empath or even a person on a spiritual path, you are probably feeling all these emotions, sometimes all at once. So, what do you, as a spiritual seeker, do with all this emotional energy?
In a deep conversation with my spiritual director this week, I tried to articulate what seems to be true for me, and perhaps others who are on this journey, especially those who are opening to the call of the Divine Feminine. I have written about this before in this blog (see “Where Opposites Meet,” 11/26/2020). It is a concept that, while not yet fully formed, bears thinking about.
In many traditions, the Divine Feminine is the vessel, the one who holds all emotions, all energies. As one who deeply feels the energies that swirl around me, I sense that I too, am called to be the vessel, the cauldron who holds all the energies while they are being transformed into something new. It is in holding these disparate energies that transformation can take place.
I am called to fully feel all my emotions, not just the pleasant or happy ones. I must feel my anger, my fear, my grief, my sadness, as well as my joy, my happiness, and my connectedness. I must not deny any of my emotions. They must all go into the cauldron of my sacred feminine self (which, by the way, is also a part of men).
As I fully embrace my emotions, rather than stuffing them or denying them, they soften and change. In that cauldron these energies mix and mingle. They become greater than their individual parts. They are transformed in the stirring and the blending, the reframing, and the loving of all of myself. In that cauldron, fear can change to empathy; hate can turn to love; grief can become compassion. But this transformation can only take place if I allow all my feelings, the good, the bad, and the ugly, to be stirred in the vessel of my deepest self.
In these difficult times, I am coming to believe that spiritual people are called to live with the discomfort of the negativity of the world. We are the vessels that can hold and ultimately transform these swirling, difficult, contradictory energies. As we transform ourselves, we change the world.
It isn’t easy. I was taught to deny and repress any negative energies. In that old paradigm there was no place for doubt or negativity in one’s spiritual life. However, the longer I live, the more I am convinced that denying the negative only makes it more powerful. It is only by fully feeling and accepting those dark emotions as a part of being human, that they can be transformed into something beautiful.
To be the cauldron of transformation is an enormous responsibility and a high calling. If you are feeling the discomfort of the world, perhaps you are being called to be the cauldron, the holder of energies and the one who stirs those energies up into one delicious soup of wholeness and humanity.
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What Do We Do Now?
As women on a spiritual path, what are we to do with these feelings as we watch our human rights being taken away?
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What Do We Do Now?
I must admit that the past couple of weeks have been a struggle for me, and I daresay millions of American women. I have alternately been deeply frightened, livid with anger, sad and depressed. I have been left with a feeling of deep helplessness and hopelessness in the face of this war on women.
Although the Supreme Court’s decision is not yet final, it will take a miracle of major proportions for Roe v. Wade to stand. It feels like a gut punch, and I don’t know what to do with all the feelings that are coming up for me. We are going back to the dark ages when women had no agency over their own lives, and it is a terrifying step backwards. As women on a spiritual path, what are we to do with these feelings as we watch our human rights being taken away?
The truth is, I don’t know. The great spiritual teachers say to let our feelings flow through us, to sit with them, and allow them their full range, even when it isn’t comfortable. We are to be love and radiate love, even to those who are our enemies.
Right now, that is an extremely difficult thing to do. I don’t feel like radiating love. I am angry. Because of a mostly old white men, women will die. Intelligent women, strong women. Women who have much to contribute to society. Women and children, men and families will be doomed to lives of poverty and deprivation because they can’t afford another child or because a single sixteen-year-old mom will not have the resources to further her education. With no exceptions for rape or incest, children will be forced to bear children and women will have to deal with the emotional trauma of assault for the rest of their lives. And that is just the beginning. It is a disaster of major proportions for all women and the men who love them.
I used to think that the spiritual and political could be separate, but I no longer believe that it is possible. I cannot be silent in the face of what is happening politically. If I don’t speak out, I am complicit in the deaths of women. Because making abortion illegal will not end abortion, it will only end safe abortions.
Which leads me back to the question of what do we, who are on a spiritual path, do with these difficult feelings? There are several things that I am doing that might be helpful to you.
- I am feeling my feelings. I am allowing them to flow through me. I am not ignoring them, stuffing them, or denying them. I am then allowing those feelings to inform my actions.
- I am taking action, even if it feels hopeless. Even little things help me to feel like I am doing something. I am writing letters to my legislators. I am marching for women’s rights. I am giving money to organizations dedicated to women’s rights. I am praying, particularly for those who are in power, the very ones that I am angry with.
- I am speaking up when I can. I recently had a conversation with a friend where I respectfully pointed out some ramifications that she had not thought about. It may not have changed her mind, but the conversation opened up some new things to think about.
- I am trying to be love. When I truly follow the path of love, it leads me to consider the best possible life for the greatest number of people. The path of love values the life of a fully grown woman over the life of a clump of unformed cells. The path of love treats a woman as a whole person, not a womb or a vessel. The path of love supports children and families after a child is born. And, as difficult as it is, I am doing my best to send love to those I see as the perpetrators of this assault on women.
5. I realize that I can only do what I can do. This is not going to be solved quickly, maybe not even in my lifetime. I must be prepared to deal with all the difficult feelings that will continue to arise as I do my best to make a difference in whatever small way that I can.
My stance on this issue may not be your stance. However, it will take all of us – feeling, acting, praying, speaking out, and trying to make some small difference, for love to eventually win out. Blessings as you walk your path.
Barbara Garland
May, 2022
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