Author: Barbara Garland

The Wounded Healer

As I navigate my own spiritual and emotional growth, I realize that my own woundedness is my greatest gift. It is the source of my growth and the path to healing.

Goddess Inspired

October 9, 2022

Tagged compassion, empathy, Grief, Healing, Loss

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I have been out of town this week, hence the weekend blog. As I thought about what to write, I turned to my Native Spirit oracle deck (by Denise Linn). The card I drew this morning was the “Wounded Healer.”

As I pondered the meaning of the card, I realized that we can all be wounded healers. Everyone is wounded, and everyone has the capability of healing themselves and others. Everyone has been wounded by life’s ups and downs. Everyone has been hurt, many times inadvertently, by the people they love or the people who love them. Everyone has also been hurt by life circumstances – death, job loss, changes of fortune, what they were born into, or random happenstance. No one goes through life without wounds.

My choices come from how I deal with those wounds. Do I become bitter and stuck, do I live in denial, or do I do my best to heal and forgive? As I navigate life with all its large and small wounds, my spiritual imperative is to learn to grow through those wounds. But an interesting thing can happen. As I deal with grief and loss, I become more attuned to the grief and loss that others are experiencing in their lives.

Many years ago, when I was dealing with the loss of my first marriage, I realized that in my grief, I was more able to recognize the grief of others. I could see the grief in their eyes, because there was grief in my own. I became more empathetic, more attuned to the wounds that other people were experiencing. I didn’t have to be healed to be a friend or to be more compassionate. It was precisely because I was wounded that I was open to the pain of others.

It is analogous to the “let them eat cake” syndrome. If I am comfortable in my little corner of the world, it is hard to have compassion for those who are struggling. If I am aware of my own struggles, my own wounds, it is easier to understand that others struggle too and that there are no easy answers for any of us. Our woundedness binds us together. We become moved by compassion for those who are experiencing life’s difficulties, precisely because we know how it feels to be in their shoes.

As I navigate my own spiritual and emotional growth, I realize that my own woundedness is my greatest gift. It is the source of my growth and the path to healing. It is the door to greater compassion, awareness, and empathy for others.

I don’t have to have all the answers, nor do all my wounds have to be healed, to be a healer. I only have to be willing to see the other person through the eyes of compassion and empathy. I must be willing to recognize that my grief and loss are the same as yours, no matter what causes that grief. I must be willing to do the best I can to heal my own wounds while accepting that others are also wounded. And together we can heal each other.

Barbara Garland
October, 2022

When Does the Spiritual Become Political?

Breaking the Box

But under that comforter is a wild woman yearning to be free.
The box doesn’t fit anymore.

Goddess Inspired

September 30, 2022

Tagged Becoming, Breaking Out, Healing, Speaking One's Truth

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I live in such a pretty box.

I have filled it with all the things that make me feel safe and comfortable.

Over there is my perfectionist couch and in the corner is my I’m not good enough chair.
The rug is made of the finest I must always be right fibers.
The don’t shine my light lamp of course is dark.
My closet is filled to overflowing with you must not say (fill in the blank) because they might think (fill in the blank).
I love my I must always be a good girl comforter. I can lie under it and avoid any disagreement or disappointment.

But under that comforter is a wild woman yearning to be free because the box doesn’t fit anymore.

The couch is great, even if it’s shabby. The chair is perfectly adequate.
The lamp must shine to shed light on the shadows.
And the closet will be emptied when I finally speak my truth.

My wild woman is breaking out of that comfortable good girl box, out of the skin that no longer fits.
My wild woman is awake, alive, shimmering in her own inner light.
My wild woman stands in truth, sovereign and strong, conscious and centered.

The pretty box is gone. The wild woman roars!

Barbara Garland
September, 2022

The Pathfinders

During these troubled times, I believe that spiritually awakened women and men are called upon to be the leaders who help others to find a different way.

Goddess Inspired

September 24, 2022

Tagged courage, Support, Tipping Point, Wisdom

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As I drew from my Animal Spirits oracle desk this morning, I was aware of how devoid of ideas I was. I have been trying to write a blog for several days now, and no ideas have been forthcoming. When I drew the Wolf-Pathfinder card, my prayers for inspiration were answered.

The wolf is seen as a teacher, the leader who helps others find their way. They are collaborative and live in a pack, each individual knowing their place and fulfilling their individual role as teacher, nurturer, or hunter. Their power comes from cooperating within the pack structure.

During these troubled times, I believe that spiritually awakened women and men are called upon to be the leaders who help others to find a different way. So many are waking up to the idea that our cultural norms are no longer working. We are facing real existential crises, crises that can’t be solved using the old paradigms. As we explore new ideas and new ways of being, the old guard is reacting with increasing violence and hatred. The old world is in its death throes, and a new world is being born, but in that process chaos and confusion abound.

I believe that we are called to model a new paradigm of cooperating within our groups. We are the pathfinders. We must firmly but lovingly call out lies and injustice. We must bravely stand for the rights of all people, not just the wealthy and privileged few. We must speak truth and be allies with and for those who cannot speak for themselves. Just like in the wolf pack, we are called to protect those who are weaker and defend the integrity of the pack.

I have spent a great portion of my life feeling that I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t know enough, and that I didn’t have the expertise or experience to speak out. I also was afraid of speaking my truth. As I continue to struggle with these internal barriers, I am coming to realize that it is imperative that I speak, in spite of these perceived limitations. I have gained a certain wisdom by living a long life. It is my job to share that wisdom with those who will listen. It is my job within the collective to do whatever I can in my own little corner to make a difference in someone’s life.

Lately after my morning meditations, I have been writing down how I want to be as my future dream self – the person I want to be this time next year. However, I am writing as if that dream self already exists. I find that each time I write I become stronger and less afraid to speak out when I see injustice. I become more confident as the powerful woman that I am. I no longer feel the need for approval. I stand in my hard-won wisdom. And I am not alone. I am surrounded by other companions on the spiritual path who are working with me to make the world a better place.

Millions of people around the world are working toward a new world paradigm – a world where there is enough for everyone, where justice is truly blind, where love and compassion are operational norms, and where peace prevails. Sometime soon there will be a tipping point where the old gives way to the new. I invite you to join the pack and do your small part to change the world by living out your best self and sharing your wisdom.

Barbara Garland
September, 2022

Breaking Through Fear

Today I am celebrating my freedom, not from fear but from letting fear stop me!

Goddess Inspired

September 17, 2022

Tagged courage, Fear, Freedom, Self Actualization

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Fear is a funny thing. On the one hand, it keeps me from running toward the lion or jumping off a cliff. On the other hand, it prevents me from speaking out and from being my true self with the people around me. While it can protect me from danger, it can also block my growth as a fully actualized human being. What I have discovered recently is that once I face my fear and act in spite of it, I become free.

I have always thought that by the time I reached my seventies that I would no longer care about what people think. I thought I would have left my fears behind. However I realize that there is still some small part of me that is afraid of losing people I care about if I show up as who I truly am. There is a fear that I will be rejected because of what I think and believe. For me, it has been a lifelong struggle to speak my truth to the wider world.

Writing this blog over the past two years has been a courage builder for me. It has been the first platform in which I publicly speak my truth. However, my readership consists mostly of folks who are on a similar path to mine, people who are open to looking at the world in an unconventional way. My readers. While they might not agree with every premise, are generally open to the general spiritual concepts that I write about.

Launching my book, a book that lays bare my deep spiritual struggles, is a difficult thing to do. It raises all the issues of speaking my truth, of what people will think, and of my fears of rejection. It was a huge step, and one that I agonized over. My book is my baby, and I had all kinds of fears that someone might call my baby ugly. So when I announced my book on Face Book last week and sent out invitations to my book-launching party, I finally let go of my fears of showing up to the world as a deeply spiritual, but non-religious person. I felt liberated and proud for acting in spite of my fears – those real, but mostly irrational anxieties that aren’t always even conscious.

And guess what? The world didn’t come to an end. My friends are excited that I am a published author and are happy to celebrate with me, even if they might not agree with me from a religious standpoint. And I am finally free of worrying about what anyone thinks. I stand in my truth and am proud of who I have become. While fear has not gone away, the next time it will be easier to act in spite of it.

Today I am celebrating my freedom, not from fear but from letting fear stop me! It has been a decades long journey that has never been easy, but after facing my fear and pushing through it, I am finally free to be the soul I was meant to be.

Thanks to all of you, who have encouraged me along the way.

Barbara Garland
October, 2022

My Great News

Today I am proud to announce the publication of my book.

Goddess Inspired

September 9, 2022

Tagged Announcement, Blog, Divine Feminine

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When I launched this blog in October, 2020, I was following my intuition. Earlier that year I had felt led to go back through my old journals and pull out the nuggets of wisdom that seemed to come from outside of myself. That in turn led to expanding on those snippets and writing more in depth about what they meant to me. Those essays were the genesis of my blog, Womanspiritspeaks. Today will be my ninety-eighth blog posting.

I have been gratified by the responses of many of you to my blogs, which seem to have resonated deeply with you as you walk your own spiritual path. It has been a labor of love, but these blogs are not mine. I am guided by the Divine Feminine each time I write. The words that I write each week come from a much deeper place than my own mind. When I re-read what I have written, I am amazed at what is on the paper. It is both me and not me.

As I began 2022, my intuition was once again nudging me to expand on these blogs. I felt the call to put them in journal form, with questions, based on that blog, for each day of the week. I wanted to use a format that would allow readers to dig deep into themselves to find their own answers to spiritual questions and life struggles.

I am so proud to announce the publication of my book, WomanSpiritSpeaks: 52 Weeks with the Divine Feminine. It can be found on Balboa Press and in Amazon Books. If you have resonated with any of my blogs, this is an opportunity to go a little bit deeper within yourself. It is an easy way to start a journaling or meditation practice or to change up your existing practice a bit.

Thanks to all of you for reading and editing these blogs and encouraging me along the way, especially Kay, Ann, Mary, and Leslie. I hope this book will speak to all of my followers. For my local readers, you will soon be receiving an invitation to a celebration and book signing event. Watch your emails.

Blessings on the Journey,

Barbara Garland
September, 2022

The Great Mystery

I can never know God/dess, then, in the way she knows me. No matter how closely we merge, I am but a small part of her vastness, only a small cell of her body.

Goddess Inspired

September 2, 2022

Tagged connection, Longing, Mystery, spirituality

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I believe that for those of us on the spiritual path, there is a deep longing to merge with the Divine, whom I name as God/dess (feel free to substitute your own name for the Divine as you read this essay). But it seems that, no matter how deeply I go, there is a gap, even a chasm that I cannot cross. There is always a distance between me and the Holy, and I am left longing for more.

I just read a biography of Julian of Norwich. She had ecstatic visions of Jesus and was in an intimate relationship with him, but always was left feeling the distance between herself and Jesus. She said in her Fourteenth Revelation, Chapter 41, “But yet oftentimes our trust is not full: for we are not sure that God heareth us, as we think because of our unworthiness, and because we feel right nought, (for we are as barren and dry oftentimes after our prayers as we were afore); and this, in our feeling our folly, is cause of our weakness. For thus have I felt in myself.” She had a longing that was never completely filled, and eventually she reconciled herself to the notion that she could never completely merge with Christ.

Mother Teresa, who devoted her life to the sick and the poor in India, was consumed with doubt. In one of her letters, she wrote, “I utter words of community prayers — and try my utmost to get out of every word the sweetness it has to give — but my prayer of union is not there any longer — I no longer pray.”

Last week, I wrote about merging my ego self with my deep self, my Soul. Even though I work hard to let go and merge into that deep spiritual connection, I am only partially successful. There is a longing in my soul that is never completely filled.

No matter how close I am to the Divine, I can never truly know the mind of God/dess. Even though God/dess dwells within me, the mind of the Divine is far too vast for me to know. Think of a drop of water in the ocean. It is a part of the ocean. You could even say that it is ocean, but it can never know the vastness of the ocean itself. It is similar to a cell of the body. The cell carries out its functions, its reasons for being, yet it can only know its small function within the whole. It can never know the entire body. The cell can never know the body in the way the body knows the cell. I can never know God/dess, then, in the way she knows me. No matter how closely we merge, I am but a small part of her vastness, only a small cell of her body.

Human beings are hard-wired to search for something greater than themselves. There is a deep longing to fill the empty places inside of us. Some fill it with things of the world – money, work, drugs, sex, family, fame. Some seek to fill it with a greater purpose, a relationship with the Divine.

I believe that the longing inside me is the mechanism by which I am called into the Divine. Without the longing, it would be easy to ignore the spiritual side of myself. Continuing to feel that deep pull, that longing for the Divine, is not a spiritual failure on my part, but it is how God/dess calls me to a deeper relationship with Herself. The longing calls me ever more deeply into the Divine Mystery. Even though I am but a tiny piece of that vastness that is the Holy mystery, I am pulled by that deep unfulfilled longing toward the Mystery, the Divine God/dess herself.

Barbara Garland
September, 2022

Merging into Self

Goddess Inspired

August 26, 2022
2 Comments on Merging into Self

Tagged Becoming, Ego, Self Actualization, soul

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I have written before on the idea of surrender and how difficult that word is for me. Surrender feels like giving up, almost like annihilation. To me it has meant being conquered by that grandfather sky god. To my ego, it feels like the end of existence.

In an earlier blog I played with the words, allowing and inviting. What if I allow or invite God/dess in rather than surrendering. Those terms felt better to me, but there was a missing element that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I have had some conversations lately with a brilliant evolutionary astrologist, Marion Loguidice. She has helped me see surrender in a totally different light (thank you, Marion). In a meditation after a conversation with her, I saw myself merging into myself. My ego-self merged with my true self, my Soul. I was not capitulating to something outside of myself, but rather I was merging into what I was born to be. It was a voluntary act of loving myself enough to become myself. It was inviting and allowing my human self and my divine self to merge into one. It was letting go of trying to be perfect and loving myself, just as I am, warts and all.

For so many years, I have fought the idea of surrendering myself to something outside of myself. It feels that if I surrender, I will no longer exist. However, if I surrender to my true self, if I merge with my Soul, the opposite is true. In that case, I become more of myself. Instead of disappearing, I become larger, more expansive, more truly me. In merging with my Soul, I become more of who I came to earth to be. I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to be myself. I can be wild and crazy, quiet and shy, or bold and assertive, depending on what is called for at the moment. I can stand in my truth without shame or fear. I can offer my gifts to the world in love and humility without needing the approval of anyone else. I can be who I am in the depths of my being.

This merging of ego with Soul is not a one and done act. It is a process that requires consciously allowing and inviting myself to merge with Myself every single day. It is a process that requires me to say no to the voices in my head that tell me I am not enough, that I must be quiet, or that I must be perfect. It is a process that requires me to remember that I am my Soul, not this body or this ego. It is one of the lessons that I must learn in this lifetime. No matter what else I do, I must merge with my Soul to become what I truly am.

Barbara Garland
August, 2022

Learning From the Divine Feminine

As I see myself in these representations of the Divine Feminine, I can understand myself more deeply, and I can accept myself in a different way

Goddess Inspired

August 20, 2022
2 Comments on Learning From the Divine Feminine

Tagged Archetypes, Divine Feminine, goddess

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I love studying the Divine Feminine Goddesses because I can see myself in many of their aspects. These Goddesses are archetypal or universal representations of all of us. I can relate to these archetypal representations on a deep level. As I see myself in these representations, I can understand myself more deeply, and I can accept myself in a different way.

It is interesting that none of these archetypes are perfect. Each Goddess has wonderful, loving characteristics, but she also has a shadow side that can trip her up or even harm the people she loves. For example, the Hindu Goddess Kali can be the Goddess of liberation, but she is also the Goddess of death and rebirth. The Greek Goddess, Artemis, represents focus and achievement of goals, but her shadow can inadvertently hurt the people who love her, and she can be merciless to her enemies. Demeter is the personification of the loving mother archetype, but she was willing to destroy the world in her grief.

Each of us embodies numerous archetypes, many of which we are unconscious of. As I study the Divine Feminine and her myriad aspects, I become more aware of both my strengths and my weaknesses. I can see the part of me that is both positive and negative. I can see that sometimes my greatest strengths are sometimes my greatest weaknesses. As I look at each Goddess, I can begin to choose to accept all of those parts of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly, as who I am. I can begin to meld those parts together to create a whole that is more than the sum of each separate characteristic. I can learn that I don’t have to be perfect to be enough.

This week my women’s group will be looking at Parvati, a Hindu Goddess who symbolizes the aspect of devotion. We will be asking ourselves questions that will clarify what devotion means to each of us and what is its shadow side. Some of those questions are

To what are you devoted?
How do you practice devotion?
How do you decide what is worthy of devotion?
Have you ever devoted yourself to something that wasn’t good for you?
What were the consequences and how did you disentangle yourself?

As I contemplate the various aspects of the Divine Feminine, as represented by many Goddesses, it is interesting to delve deeper into each of them to discover more about who I am and what makes me tick. As I ask the deep questions, it becomes an exercise in self-discovery. I invite you to join me on the journey. Look closely at some of these Goddesses and ask yourself how they manifest in your life. What do you love? What do you want to change?

Barbara Garland
August, 2022

Embodying the Sacred

Chopping wood, carrying water, walking barefoot in the grass, listening to birdsong, holding a wriggly puppy – these are the things that ground us in the body while opening us to the eternal.

Goddess Inspired

August 12, 2022

Tagged Embodiment, Intellectual, Ordinary, Sacred, Theology

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I am a person who lives in her head. My mind is constantly thinking, flitting from subject to subject, worrying, contemplating, or just having random thoughts. I can easily think about a myriad of things. I know concepts in my head and grasp ideas quickly. I make connections that others might not see. What I don’t do is listen to my body.

Patriarchal religion has a history of denying and denigrating the body. Early Christians denied and mutilated their bodies, and certain religious rites, even today, involve scourging and body mutilation. Everything of the body was of the earth and darkness, or more precisely the feminine. As science came into prominence, the world of ideas became the primary way of knowing, while the instinctual and the body’s way of knowing was relegated to the realm of superstition. Consequently, we have lost a primary way of relating to Source. We think we know things in our head, but we don’t know how to embody those things in our hearts.

The great religious teachers came to earth in bodies. They had all the bodily functions, emotions, and desires of any human being. They were intimately acquainted with the human condition because they were human. But our religions have tended to separate the spirit/mind from the body, and we ignore the not only the connection between the two, but the body itself.

In my mind, I can theologize, philosophize, debate, and discuss concepts ad infinitum. For example, I know in my mind what forgiveness means, but until I can move the concept to my heart and feel it in my body, I cannot forgive. Intellectually I know that I need to be love in the world, but until I feel it in my body, I can only talk about it, not actually be it. I know in my head that I am enough, just as I am, but until I bring that concept into my body, I will forever be striving to earn approval.

An ancient Zen Koan says that before enlightenment one needs to chop wood and carry water. And after enlightenment one needs to chop wood and carry water. What that means to me is that enlightenment comes from the body and from living life in the body. Chopping wood, carrying water, walking barefoot in the grass, listening to birdsong, holding a wriggly puppy – these are the things that ground us in the body while opening us to the eternal.

All the great philosophies are nothing if they remain in my head. I come to Source as a body, as a human experiencing the world through my senses. I must open myself to feeling in my body what I am experiencing in my head so that I may truly experience the divine.

This morning the moon was gloriously full during my early walk. I marveled at the beautiful radiance shining down on me and the dark earth. It felt in my body like I was being held, and I was filled with gratitude that I was able to experience such a moment. All the theology and philosophy in the world meant nothing in comparison to that moment when I felt the deep love of the heavens in my body.

Barbara Garland
August, 2022

Failure Is Not A Dirty Word

What would I try if I knew I could not fail? What would I try if failure was just another step in the process of growth? What if failure wasn’t a dirty word?

Goddess Inspired

July 29, 2022

Tagged Failure, Growth, Inspiration, Learning, Success

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My almost nine-year-old granddaughter was with me this week. We had a wonderful time riding the golf cart to spot deer and wild turkey, swimming, painting, even binge watching a couple of kids’ series on Disney. She is a bundle of energy and ideas. Her exuberance and confidence in herself are awe-inspiring. She has ideas about how to make things from trash. She is convinced that she will be able to design wings so that humans can fly. Her mind is constantly working, seeing inventions in the most mundane things. She sees no limitations on bringing her ideas to fruition. Hers is the confidence that comes from child-like innocence. She doesn’t see that anything is impossible. In her mind, where there is a will there is a way.

I worked hard this week not to let my practical mind clash with her impossible dreams. I encouraged her to think outside of the box, to work on her ideas, and to be open to new thoughts. It is said that things are impossible until they are not. Once barriers are broken, a new world opens. My granddaughter can’t see failure since she doesn’t see it as failure. If one idea doesn’t work, she adjusts and tries something new. Perhaps her thoughts and ideas will open new ways of looking at the world. Perhaps as she experiences life in her fertile mind, a barrier will fall and something entirely new will arise that will benefit the world.

It is tempting to quash ideas which I know from experience won’t work. It is tempting to let the wisdom of my old age get in the way of innocent dreams and brilliant ideas. Those temptations come from a place of protection. I don’t want my sweet girl to fail or to be disappointed. However, if her ideas don’t work, if they fail, she will have the benefit of learning through her own experience. She will be able to figure out what went wrong and what didn’t. If I keep her from trying, through my own cynicism, I deprive her of valuable experience.

So it is for all humans. If God/dess doesn’t allow me to try and fail, I am deprived of deep learning experiences. I am meant to try and fail throughout my lifetime. It is through this experimentation that I learn and grow. For some reason though, I got the message that failure was bad, that only perfection was acceptable. Since I couldn’t do everything perfectly from the beginning, I didn’t try anything new. I didn’t experiment or play. Many women that I know have been trapped in this web of perfectionism, afraid to venture into new territory for fear of failure.

To my granddaughter, everything is an adventure. She is convinced that she cannot fail, therefore she will try anything. She is fearless. She runs with her ideas, and when those don’t work, she has new ideas. I want to be more like her, to be open to all possibilities. What would I try if I knew I could not fail? What would I try if failure was just another step in the process of growth? What if failure wasn’t a dirty word?

Barbara Garland
August, 2022

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New blogs will be added to this post every Friday.

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About Me

I am a seeker of truth, a truth teller, a lover of the Divine Feminine, an aspiring writer, a mystery, an open book, a work in progress. I have lived a long and varied life, and now in my seventies, I am being called to share some of what I have learned over the years. I hope to share the wisdom of the deep Feminine that is being channeled through me.

If the Goddess has ever whispered to you, I invite you to join me on an incredible journey of love and discovery. May you hear Her wisdom through these words.

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