A Woman’s Inward Journey

This morning, the Goddess card I drew was Persephone. Since I am no longer in the Maiden phase of my life, I was puzzled as to what it could mean. One of the things that was written about the meaning of the card was “The soul is formed in the darkness of the unconscious.”  As I pondered that statement I began to realize the depth of its truth.

We have to go into the darkness to find ourselves. In contrast to the outward seeking masculine Hero’s Journey, we as women, are called to go inward into our depths. We must face the darkness in order to see the light. We must go into the darkness to find our souls.

Persephone was quite literally dragged into the underworld against her will. She was a prisoner in the darkness for many months. During that time, she was transformed into the Queen of the Underworld. By deliberately choosing to eat the pomegranate seeds that were offered to her, she made certain that she would periodically go back into the depths.

Inanna, the great Sumerian Queen of Heaven, deliberately chose to go into the underworld. As she descended she lost all her trappings of power (symbols of the ego). She hung on a meat hook for three days, before she was rescued and brought back to life. She returned to the world more powerful than ever.

Sometimes, like Persephone, we are dragged screaming into the dark. Life circumstances such as death, divorce, or our own inner demons drag us down into the depths of grief and darkness. Sometimes we feel as if we won’t survive. But even as we wallow in the muck and the mire, we are being transformed. Those life circumstances change us, and if we allow it, open our souls.

Sometimes, like Inanna, we deliberately choose to go into the dark. We do the work of transformation, examining our shadow selves and those parts of ourselves that we might not want to see. We face whatever is inside of us, allowing an entirely new creation to emerge from the darkness and uncertainty.

Looking at these examples in mythology helps make it clear to me that, for women, the journey inward – into the dark unconscious – is the journey to our souls. Going inward, lying fallow and still, and allowing oneself  to be held in the dark is an essential part of the journey to Self. It is the path to self-creation. It is a path that, like Persephone, we walk again and again.

I cannot know myself or grow into my wholeness without going inward into the dark. I cannot mature into fullness without a time in the muck and the goo of life. Knowing this, I can make the choice to allow myself to embrace the darkness when it comes. In spite of my fear, I can rest in the knowing that something new is coming from the old.  I can allow the time of darkness to birth something within me that is new and more evolved. I can choose to learn the wisdom of the darkness – that out of destruction/deconstruction comes creation.

Then, when I do emerge into the light, I am a creature transformed. I am whole. I am a mature self-actualized Goddess standing in my own power and truth. I am enough