Yesterday as I was driving to an appointment, a song came on the radio. The title was in French, which I don’t speak, but it seemed to read, “a small sense of presence.” It really doesn’t matter if my translation is correct or not. What matters is that particular phrase has stayed with me and continues to tug at my heart.

Many times in my life I have felt disconnected from the Divine Source. I have felt alone, discouraged, lost. I didn’t have a clue where to turn or what to do. But deep inside there was a “small sense of Presence.” On some level, even though I felt lost and afraid, I knew that there was something that held me and wouldn’t let me go. All I could feel was a very small, quiet Presence, an almost imperceptible connection to the Divine.

It is easy to feel and acknowledge the Divine in the mountaintop experiences when life is beautiful and wonderful. It is not so easy to feel and acknowledge the Divine when I am in the dark night of the soul, when I feel bereft and unmoored. It is in those times, when I feel forsaken and abandoned, that I must grab onto that small sense of Presence.

That sense of Presence is like a tiny, flickering flame. It is only a glimpse of pale light that I can hardly believe is there. However, the more I acknowledge the flame, the more I keep my eyes focused on the flame, the more I can see. In those times of disconnect when it is hard to feel that small sense of Presence, it is helpful to become quiet, to listen deeply to my inner voice. I do that by journaling, meditating, practicing Yoga or QiGong, being out in nature, or just resting.

And while the Presence resides within me, sometimes the flame is fanned by an outside source. Like the title of the song on the radio, the small sense of Presence can come from anywhere – the doe and her twin fawns that walk through my yard, the birds singing to the dawn, a hug or email from a friend, a smile from a stranger, a creative act. All of these and many others help to fan the flame of the Divine Presence within. They are outward signs of an indwelling Presence.

As I connect to my own inner Divine, so then I must become a small sense of Presence to others just as they are to me. My energy must be attuned to respond to the people around me with love, empathy, and compassion. I must be ready to be supportive and non-judgmental as other people go through their own struggles to discover the small sense of Presence within themselves.  I must acknowledge the Divine within others and encourage others to acknowledge the Divine within themselves. It is then that the small sense of Presence becomes a certain sense of Presence that cannot be shaken even in the darkest of times.

Barbara Garland
June 2023