Month: October 2022

Loving My Shadows

If I do not believe that I am worthy of love, then I am not able to see others as being worthy either.

October 30, 2022

Tagged acceptance, Judgment, love, Shadow, wholeness

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I believe that it is important to all of us from time to time to take a look at our own shadows, those things about ourselves that we deny. Last week, I talked about Lucy, my little shadow girl who tries to protect me by trapping me in perfectionism and the fear of standing up for myself. I have given my inner power over to Lucy, when in fact, allowing her to run my life is harmful to me and all my relationships. When I don’t allow my own vulnerabilities to show, I deprive myself of the love and intimacy I crave.

As I look at my shadows, I see that the very things that bother me the most about others are the things that I deny in myself. I am just as capable of horrible actions as those whom I judge so harshly. I have the capability of being a liar, a murderer, a thief, a racist – if the right circumstances are present. But I also don’t want to admit that I am less than the perfect good girl. On the other hand, I am also capable of being the things that I admire the most in others. I am intelligent, spiritual, talented, kind, and giving. I am not “less than” but rather I am complete and whole just as I am.

It was no accident that Jesus said to “love our neighbors as ourselves.” It is not possible to truly love another without loving myself and accepting myself as a whole, intact, human being. If I do not believe that I am worthy of love, then I am not able to see others as being worthy either. If I cannot love myself, I cannot truly love another person.

Loving myself is not selfish or egotistical. It is simply looking at all of me – the good and the bad – and accepting and loving every part of me. It is believing that I am worthy of love in all of my imperfections. It is knowing that I am a creation of the Divine, and that the Divine lives in me and through me.

It is never easy to accept my own darkness, nor is it easy to accept my light. As a human, I am constantly judging myself as too much or not enough. It is only when I look unflinchingly at my whole self and love all that I see, that I can become the creation that I was meant to be. At that point, I can step into my true inner power and radiate love into the world.

Barbara Garland
October, 2022

When Does the Spiritual Become Political?

Breaking Free of Lucy

There is a small child that lives inside of each of us who is dedicated to protecting us at all costs.

Goddess Inspired

October 22, 2022

Tagged Actualization, Freedom, Inner Child, love, Protection

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There is a small child that lives inside of each of us who is dedicated to protecting us at all costs. This little child sees its job as helping us to survive. The difficulty is that what is necessary to our survival is subject to a child’s interpretation.

My little girl’s name is Lucy. A long time ago Lucy decided that in order for me to survive and be loved that I had to be perfect. I had to become the perfect “good little girl.” That meant that I always had to excel at everything I did. I always had to be submissive. I always had to be kind. I could never do anything that would cause pain or even discomfort to another. If I crossed those lines, I would never be loved – by the people who were family and friends, by the wider world, or even by God.

Consequently, I became a very good little girl. I excelled in school, was compliant and obedient. I mothered my brother and cousins and took care of stray animals. I wasn’t loud or rowdy, and I never, ever bucked authority. I became the queen of perfectionism.

I don’t for a minute believe that my parents had any notions of trapping me in this perfectionistic, good girl persona. I believe that my little girl, Lucy, in her unformed and childlike innocence, interpreted my life in such a way that she believed that my very survival depended on these traits. In her child’s mind, the only path to love was through being a very good girl.

Even though I am an elder and have worked hard at loving and understanding myself, I only recently realized the power that Lucy has over me. Being a good girl is not a bad thing per se. It is only when I allow the good girl to work at cross purposes with my own well-being that I get into trouble. I have a hard time making decisions that are ultimately for my own good, if those decisions might inconvenience someone else or make someone stressed or unhappy. I must always earn my way by giving more, doing more, taking care of more. I can never be tired or vulnerable.

While Lucy thinks she is taking care of me, she is ultimately harming me deeply. Her fear of loss makes it difficult for me to be authentic, with a full range of emotions, not just the positive ones. Lucy ultimately is a scared little girl hiding in the darkness. I, on the other hand, am an elder, a crone, a wise woman. I have the power to bring Lucy out of the dark and to love her unconditionally. There are times I need her to protect me, but most of the time I just need her to let me do the driving.

While I won’t stop being a good girl, I must become a fully actualized woman who appropriately chooses when and where to let her wild woman out. I am grateful to Lucy for her protection, but she needs to be in the back seat, not the driver’s seat. As I become the driver, Lucy will have permission to come out and be her liberated, beautiful child-like self along with me. Because while Lucy is protecting me, she is also denying herself permission to be a playful, beloved child.

Who is the Lucy in your life, and what is she/he requiring of you? Are you ready to relegate her/him to the back seat and take over your own life allowing both yourself and your inner child the freedom to be fully human?

Barbara Garland
October, 2022

Sacred Unity

I feel that it is important to bring balance back into our idea of what is Divine.

Goddess Inspired

October 15, 2022

Tagged connection, Divine Feminine, Divine Masculine, Unity

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For many years I have been led to the Divine Feminine. When I pray, I pray to the Goddess. When I speak of the Source of all, I speak in feminine metaphors. Although I believe that the Divine is neither male nor female, speaking of the Divine in feminine terms is a counterbalance to the masculinization of God. When God is spoken of in completely masculine terms, is defined as male, and is omnipotent, then Patriarchy becomes a way of life, and the feminine becomes less than or something to be feared.

I feel that is it important to bring balance back into our idea of what is Divine. It is time to recognize the gifts of the masculine and the feminine. It is time to see that masculine and feminine are complementary, not oppositional. If we look at the symbol of the Yin and Yang, each aspect is contained within the other. When the masculine and the light is dominant, the dark is contained within the light. When the feminine and the dark is dominant, the light is contained within the dark.

Patriarchy has long been afraid of the dark, earthy, wildness of the Goddess. And yet it is the very dark wildness that births something new. It is the earth that keeps us alive. It is the intuitive that leads to leaps of discovery. It is the dark feminine that initiates us into growth and rebirth. While the masculine is focused on the mind, conquest, and winning, the feminine is focused on intuitive knowing, love, and connection.

The Great Mother represents Sacred Unity. Her archetype is the epitome of balance and wholeness. She is the great circle which has no beginning and no end. She encompasses all, births all, and receives us all at our death. She is the great Creatrix. She represents both fecundity and death. She is both lovely and fearsome in her aspects.

Over the past 2000 years, the monotheistic male god has come to dominate world religions. In that time the feminine aspects of god have become almost completely obliterated. And the world has become increasingly out of balance. We have lost our connection to our mother earth. We have become slaves to doing and productivity rather than being. We have valued the intellect over the heart. And we are on the brink of annihilation.

What if we begin to value the Divine Feminine once again? What if we begin to bring balance and wholeness back into the world by acknowledging the value in both the masculine and the feminine aspects of the Divine? What if we open ourselves to Sacred Unity and acknowledge that there is room for the Divine Feminine as well as the Divine Masculine? What if we no longer feared the Sacred Feminine but invited her to the table as we seek to birth a new world?

Barbara Garland
October, 2022

The Wounded Healer

As I navigate my own spiritual and emotional growth, I realize that my own woundedness is my greatest gift. It is the source of my growth and the path to healing.

Goddess Inspired

October 9, 2022

Tagged compassion, empathy, Grief, Healing, Loss

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I have been out of town this week, hence the weekend blog. As I thought about what to write, I turned to my Native Spirit oracle deck (by Denise Linn). The card I drew this morning was the “Wounded Healer.”

As I pondered the meaning of the card, I realized that we can all be wounded healers. Everyone is wounded, and everyone has the capability of healing themselves and others. Everyone has been wounded by life’s ups and downs. Everyone has been hurt, many times inadvertently, by the people they love or the people who love them. Everyone has also been hurt by life circumstances – death, job loss, changes of fortune, what they were born into, or random happenstance. No one goes through life without wounds.

My choices come from how I deal with those wounds. Do I become bitter and stuck, do I live in denial, or do I do my best to heal and forgive? As I navigate life with all its large and small wounds, my spiritual imperative is to learn to grow through those wounds. But an interesting thing can happen. As I deal with grief and loss, I become more attuned to the grief and loss that others are experiencing in their lives.

Many years ago, when I was dealing with the loss of my first marriage, I realized that in my grief, I was more able to recognize the grief of others. I could see the grief in their eyes, because there was grief in my own. I became more empathetic, more attuned to the wounds that other people were experiencing. I didn’t have to be healed to be a friend or to be more compassionate. It was precisely because I was wounded that I was open to the pain of others.

It is analogous to the “let them eat cake” syndrome. If I am comfortable in my little corner of the world, it is hard to have compassion for those who are struggling. If I am aware of my own struggles, my own wounds, it is easier to understand that others struggle too and that there are no easy answers for any of us. Our woundedness binds us together. We become moved by compassion for those who are experiencing life’s difficulties, precisely because we know how it feels to be in their shoes.

As I navigate my own spiritual and emotional growth, I realize that my own woundedness is my greatest gift. It is the source of my growth and the path to healing. It is the door to greater compassion, awareness, and empathy for others.

I don’t have to have all the answers, nor do all my wounds have to be healed, to be a healer. I only have to be willing to see the other person through the eyes of compassion and empathy. I must be willing to recognize that my grief and loss are the same as yours, no matter what causes that grief. I must be willing to do the best I can to heal my own wounds while accepting that others are also wounded. And together we can heal each other.

Barbara Garland
October, 2022

About

New blogs will be added to this post every Friday.

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womanspiritspeaks48@gmail.com

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About Me

I am a seeker of truth, a truth teller, a lover of the Divine Feminine, an aspiring writer, a mystery, an open book, a work in progress. I have lived a long and varied life, and now in my seventies, I am being called to share some of what I have learned over the years. I hope to share the wisdom of the deep Feminine that is being channeled through me.

If the Goddess has ever whispered to you, I invite you to join me on an incredible journey of love and discovery. May you hear Her wisdom through these words.

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