Month: August 2022

Merging into Self

August 26, 2022
2 Comments on Merging into Self

Tagged Becoming, Ego, Self Actualization, soul

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I have written before on the idea of surrender and how difficult that word is for me. Surrender feels like giving up, almost like annihilation. To me it has meant being conquered by that grandfather sky god. To my ego, it feels like the end of existence.

In an earlier blog I played with the words, allowing and inviting. What if I allow or invite God/dess in rather than surrendering. Those terms felt better to me, but there was a missing element that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I have had some conversations lately with a brilliant evolutionary astrologist, Marion Loguidice. She has helped me see surrender in a totally different light (thank you, Marion). In a meditation after a conversation with her, I saw myself merging into myself. My ego-self merged with my true self, my Soul. I was not capitulating to something outside of myself, but rather I was merging into what I was born to be. It was a voluntary act of loving myself enough to become myself. It was inviting and allowing my human self and my divine self to merge into one. It was letting go of trying to be perfect and loving myself, just as I am, warts and all.

For so many years, I have fought the idea of surrendering myself to something outside of myself. It feels that if I surrender, I will no longer exist. However, if I surrender to my true self, if I merge with my Soul, the opposite is true. In that case, I become more of myself. Instead of disappearing, I become larger, more expansive, more truly me. In merging with my Soul, I become more of who I came to earth to be. I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to be myself. I can be wild and crazy, quiet and shy, or bold and assertive, depending on what is called for at the moment. I can stand in my truth without shame or fear. I can offer my gifts to the world in love and humility without needing the approval of anyone else. I can be who I am in the depths of my being.

This merging of ego with Soul is not a one and done act. It is a process that requires consciously allowing and inviting myself to merge with Myself every single day. It is a process that requires me to say no to the voices in my head that tell me I am not enough, that I must be quiet, or that I must be perfect. It is a process that requires me to remember that I am my Soul, not this body or this ego. It is one of the lessons that I must learn in this lifetime. No matter what else I do, I must merge with my Soul to become what I truly am.

Barbara Garland
August, 2022

When Does the Spiritual Become Political?

Learning From the Divine Feminine

As I see myself in these representations of the Divine Feminine, I can understand myself more deeply, and I can accept myself in a different way

Goddess Inspired

August 20, 2022
2 Comments on Learning From the Divine Feminine

Tagged Archetypes, Divine Feminine, goddess

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I love studying the Divine Feminine Goddesses because I can see myself in many of their aspects. These Goddesses are archetypal or universal representations of all of us. I can relate to these archetypal representations on a deep level. As I see myself in these representations, I can understand myself more deeply, and I can accept myself in a different way.

It is interesting that none of these archetypes are perfect. Each Goddess has wonderful, loving characteristics, but she also has a shadow side that can trip her up or even harm the people she loves. For example, the Hindu Goddess Kali can be the Goddess of liberation, but she is also the Goddess of death and rebirth. The Greek Goddess, Artemis, represents focus and achievement of goals, but her shadow can inadvertently hurt the people who love her, and she can be merciless to her enemies. Demeter is the personification of the loving mother archetype, but she was willing to destroy the world in her grief.

Each of us embodies numerous archetypes, many of which we are unconscious of. As I study the Divine Feminine and her myriad aspects, I become more aware of both my strengths and my weaknesses. I can see the part of me that is both positive and negative. I can see that sometimes my greatest strengths are sometimes my greatest weaknesses. As I look at each Goddess, I can begin to choose to accept all of those parts of me, the good, the bad, and the ugly, as who I am. I can begin to meld those parts together to create a whole that is more than the sum of each separate characteristic. I can learn that I don’t have to be perfect to be enough.

This week my women’s group will be looking at Parvati, a Hindu Goddess who symbolizes the aspect of devotion. We will be asking ourselves questions that will clarify what devotion means to each of us and what is its shadow side. Some of those questions are

To what are you devoted?
How do you practice devotion?
How do you decide what is worthy of devotion?
Have you ever devoted yourself to something that wasn’t good for you?
What were the consequences and how did you disentangle yourself?

As I contemplate the various aspects of the Divine Feminine, as represented by many Goddesses, it is interesting to delve deeper into each of them to discover more about who I am and what makes me tick. As I ask the deep questions, it becomes an exercise in self-discovery. I invite you to join me on the journey. Look closely at some of these Goddesses and ask yourself how they manifest in your life. What do you love? What do you want to change?

Barbara Garland
August, 2022

Embodying the Sacred

Chopping wood, carrying water, walking barefoot in the grass, listening to birdsong, holding a wriggly puppy – these are the things that ground us in the body while opening us to the eternal.

Goddess Inspired

August 12, 2022

Tagged Embodiment, Intellectual, Ordinary, Sacred, Theology

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I am a person who lives in her head. My mind is constantly thinking, flitting from subject to subject, worrying, contemplating, or just having random thoughts. I can easily think about a myriad of things. I know concepts in my head and grasp ideas quickly. I make connections that others might not see. What I don’t do is listen to my body.

Patriarchal religion has a history of denying and denigrating the body. Early Christians denied and mutilated their bodies, and certain religious rites, even today, involve scourging and body mutilation. Everything of the body was of the earth and darkness, or more precisely the feminine. As science came into prominence, the world of ideas became the primary way of knowing, while the instinctual and the body’s way of knowing was relegated to the realm of superstition. Consequently, we have lost a primary way of relating to Source. We think we know things in our head, but we don’t know how to embody those things in our hearts.

The great religious teachers came to earth in bodies. They had all the bodily functions, emotions, and desires of any human being. They were intimately acquainted with the human condition because they were human. But our religions have tended to separate the spirit/mind from the body, and we ignore the not only the connection between the two, but the body itself.

In my mind, I can theologize, philosophize, debate, and discuss concepts ad infinitum. For example, I know in my mind what forgiveness means, but until I can move the concept to my heart and feel it in my body, I cannot forgive. Intellectually I know that I need to be love in the world, but until I feel it in my body, I can only talk about it, not actually be it. I know in my head that I am enough, just as I am, but until I bring that concept into my body, I will forever be striving to earn approval.

An ancient Zen Koan says that before enlightenment one needs to chop wood and carry water. And after enlightenment one needs to chop wood and carry water. What that means to me is that enlightenment comes from the body and from living life in the body. Chopping wood, carrying water, walking barefoot in the grass, listening to birdsong, holding a wriggly puppy – these are the things that ground us in the body while opening us to the eternal.

All the great philosophies are nothing if they remain in my head. I come to Source as a body, as a human experiencing the world through my senses. I must open myself to feeling in my body what I am experiencing in my head so that I may truly experience the divine.

This morning the moon was gloriously full during my early walk. I marveled at the beautiful radiance shining down on me and the dark earth. It felt in my body like I was being held, and I was filled with gratitude that I was able to experience such a moment. All the theology and philosophy in the world meant nothing in comparison to that moment when I felt the deep love of the heavens in my body.

Barbara Garland
August, 2022

About

New blogs will be added to this post every Friday.

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womanspiritspeaks48@gmail.com

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About Me

I am a seeker of truth, a truth teller, a lover of the Divine Feminine, an aspiring writer, a mystery, an open book, a work in progress. I have lived a long and varied life, and now in my seventies, I am being called to share some of what I have learned over the years. I hope to share the wisdom of the deep Feminine that is being channeled through me.

If the Goddess has ever whispered to you, I invite you to join me on an incredible journey of love and discovery. May you hear Her wisdom through these words.

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