This has been an extremely busy week with lots of events, most of which have entailed cooking and cleaning on my part. As a deliberate piece of self-care, I decided to put off writing my blog until today. I am a recovering perfectionist who is fanatic about making deadlines (even self-imposed ones). I have a hard time letting go and giving myself permission to be LATE. However, in the interest of practicing what I preach, I decided that one day, two days, even a week would not be an issue in the grand scheme of things.
Surprisingly, the world did not end. I did not feel terribly guilty, and my other obligations were easier to fulfill. So it is with the world – sometimes I can’t do everything. Sometimes my best-laid plans get smashed. Sometimes it is all I can do to put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes I need to give myself the grace that I readily give to others.
For these times, the best I can do is to prioritize my most pressing tasks and let the others take a back seat. In so doing I also need to realize that sometimes the most important task is to take care of myself.
Women are bombarded with the message that everyone else comes first, and it is our job to take care of everyone and everything – perfectly, all the time. However, unless I take care of myself, it is impossible to care for others. If I don’t care for myself, I become tired and worn out. I become resentful. I may even become ill or depressed. I am not my best self if I don’t take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
It is okay that this week’s blog is a little late and not as lengthy as usual. It is okay that I skip next week’s blog because I will be vacationing with friends. It is okay to allow myself to relax and take break, knowing that I will come back refreshed and renewed, ready to be inspired by God/dess. Today I am breathing deeply and taking care of myself. Won’t you join me.
Now is the time for us to allow our hearts to be cracked open. Now is the time for us to see clearly and to call out injustice, while at the same time manifesting a compassionate and loving spirit into the world.
When I see the man kneeling on another man’s neck When a child is shot with a phone in his hand When vigilantes chase down a jogger because he looks at a house under construction When a handcuffed man is kicked in the head When mass shootings occur everyday
My heart is cracked open.
When a child victim of rape is forced to birth a child When a woman is forced to carry a dead baby to term When a victim is blamed for the actions of her attacker When no doesn’t seem to mean no When women and children are trafficked and sold
My heart is cracked open.
When I see the smoke polluted air When I taste the polluted water When species disappear When the powerful continue to use up and exploit our mother the earth When profit is all that matters
My heart is cracked open.
Every time I become conscious of suffering and wrongdoing, my heart is cracked open. This cracking is a stage in my own evolutionary growth. As I become more aware of the suffering of the world, I become more attuned to others. I become more empathetic. I become more compelled to take action to alleviate suffering and pain. I become less fearful of speaking out. I become more courageous and more open to change. This cracking open of my heart is necessary in order for me to manifest more unconditional love in the world.
While this cracking open is difficult and painful, it is a necessary component of birth. Unless I am cracked open, I stay in a constricted and closed space. I cannot move. I am rigid. I am caught up in old ideas and old attitudes that no longer serve. Until my heart cracks open, I cannot see others with love and compassion. Until my heart cracks open, I cannot treat myself with the same love and compassion that I want to send to others.
Now is the time for us to allow our hearts to be cracked open. Now is the time for us to see clearly and to call out injustice, while at the same time manifesting a compassionate and loving spirit into the world. Now is the time to stand for justice and equity, to not be afraid to speak out, to join with our brothers and sisters in speaking truth to power, to be the change we want to see in the world. With our cracked open hearts, we can make a difference, no matter how large or how small, in our own corner of the world.
My mother always told me that I could be angry but that I needed to be angry in my room with the door shut. So, although I was allowed my anger, it became a secret anger that no one knew about. It was something shameful and unacceptable to express. Instead of a powerful tool for change and dialogue, my anger became shameful and something to be hidden away and not expressed. Whether I was angry on a personal level about a perceived wrong against my own self or angry about an injustice in the wider world, my anger was not allowed to be spoken.
Study after study has shown that women’s anger is seen as pathological, while men’s anger is associated with power and control.
“Society shuns angry women, convincing them that their rage is impolite, unattractive, or even unhealthy.”
“Because we expect women to be kind and communal, we sometimes like them less when they are assertive or forceful. In contrast, we expect men to act like this, so they don’t face the same pushback.”
Rebecca Traister, author of Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women’s Anger.
Anger is defined as “a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong.” While anger is seen mainly as a negative emotion, it can also be a very useful and powerful force for change. As I begin to open my eyes to the injustices in the world, not only do I feel deep sadness, I feel anger. And that anger gives me the impetus to try to make positive change. In that sense anger is not a negative but rather a positive emotion. Anger drives activism and can change the world.
Soraya Chemaly, in her book Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger, says
“When we shut down somebody’s anger, we are literally silencing the knowledge they have and saying its not valuable to us as a social resource.” She also says, “Anger drives us to demand accountability, a powerful force for political good.”
Anger, then, is knowledge. It is the knowledge that something is not right and needs to change. My task then is to determine what my anger is telling me either about myself or about the world. Then I must decide how to use my anger to make a difference. I must claim my anger and not be ashamed for calling out the isms of the world – racism, sexism, ageism – the isms that cause injustice and pain. I must use the anger that I feel to give me the courage to stand up for a better more equitable world. I must claim my anger and channel it into a force for change.
Women’s March – Austin, Texas, October 2, 2021 My Right as a Woman I marched in the Women’s March on Saturday. It was incredibly inspiring to stand shoulder to shoulder with thousands of women (and the men who support them) who believe […]
I marched in the Women’s March on Saturday. It was incredibly inspiring to stand shoulder to shoulder with thousands of women (and the men who support them) who believe in the right to control their own bodies. There were all ages, grandmothers like me, small daughters, and everything in between. All races and genders stood together to demand the right to bodily autonomy. As woman after woman bravely stood and talked about choice and reproductive freedom, I was inspired to be braver. I was inspired to speak my truth more clearly and openly.
Here in Texas, I am surrounded by so called pro-life Republicans. Many of the people I know are deeply religious, and they are unable to see the irony on being pro-life just until a child is born. If they were truly pro-life, then it should matter to them what happens to a child after birth, not just while it is in the womb. It should matter to them that there is poverty and hunger and racism and child abuse.
It should matter that the life, physical health, and mental health of a fully grown woman, not to mention a 12- or 13-year-old victim of rape or incest, might be at stake if she is forced to bear a child. They are unable to see that forcing a woman to bear a child can, in itself, be life threatening. They fail to see that abortion is also health care.
Statistically it is more dangerous in the US for a woman to carry a child to term than to have an abortion (20.1 deaths per 100,000 vs .44 deaths per 100,000 respectively). The US leads the developed world in maternal mortality, and Texas is number 42 in the country with 34.5 deaths per 100,000. That puts Texas behind countries like Uzbekistan – 29 per 100,000; Malaysia – 29; Armenia- 26; Turkmenistan – 7; and United Arab Emirates – 3.
I am not criticizing anyone’s deeply held religious beliefs. I just don’t want those beliefs to infringe on my own or any other woman’s bodily autonomy. When a woman, in the eyes of the law, becomes just a vessel to bear children, she is no longer an independently functioning human being with rights of her own. In the eyes of the State, she becomes a second-class citizen. When she is not allowed to make her own fundamental health decisions, she in essence becomes a ward of the State. She is no longer free. A friend shared a very practical treatise, not on the morality of abortion, but on the legality and constitutionality of the laws that have recently been passed. Even if you have already read this, it is worth a second read.
Patriarchy has long held that women are the property of men. It has only been a few short years since women have been allowed basic rights long held by men. For example sex discrimination in employment was prohibited in 1964; the right of married couples to use contraception was upheld in 1965; no fault divorce was instituted in California in 1969; Title IX was passed in 1972 and prohibited sex discrimination in sports; Roe v Wade was upheld in 1973, allowing women the right to legal abortion; housing and credit discrimination was only ended in 1974; and states were no longer allowed to exclude women from serving on juries in 1975. It seemed that women were well on their way to being allowed the autonomy that is the right of every human being.
However, there is a patriarchal backlash to all these recent freedoms. The enormous push to take away a woman’s right to her own body has gained more momentum, and in less than 50 years, we are on the verge of once again becoming victims of the State in regard to pregnancy. Even more chilling is the idea that anyone can sue a woman or anyone who might help her get an abortion. This not only takes away a woman’s autonomy but also incentivizes someone to spy on women and helpers alike. Naziism anyone?
The same people who scream about a mask mandate taking away their freedoms are forcing women to endure (life-altering at best and life-threatening at worst) nine months of pregnancy and a lifetime of responsibility. Should it not be our decisions to make as female human beings? I am well past childbearing age, but I want my granddaughters to have the same rights as I did. I want future generations of women to have agency over their own bodies and the ability to make decisions about childbearing that are right for them and their families. It is not the job of government to control our uteruses. It is our own right and our own responsibility.
I know that not everyone who reads this will agree with me. However, I am hoping that it will foster an understanding of why I and thousands of others believe that it is the woman’s right to choose.
My purpose is to channel this incredible love to everyone. This is my superpower, and it is your superpower. The more we all tap into that power, the more that the world can begin to heal.
I have always known in the deep recesses of my heart that I am called to be a healer – not a healer of bodies, but a healer of souls. There have been many people who have come into my life over the years who have needed my loving presence and understanding to heal themselves. These beautiful friends needed to know that they were loved and cared for. They needed to know that they were whole, just as they were, and that they deserved unconditional love. My calling has been to help shepherd them to a new understanding of their intrinsic worth, just by being there in the ups and downs of their lives.
I am not the only one who serves this function of healing. There have been other people who have done the same for me. We are all part of a system of souls, who by our very connection to each other, bring deep healing to all. We are one, and when one of us heals, we all heal. We are meant to bring Soul healing to each other. We are meant to let unconditional love flow through us out into the world.
If I can stay in a state of connected flow, I draw loving energy from the universe and from the earth. These energies join inside of me in a dance of creation that amplifies and grows into an enormous loving energy, which by its very nature, must flow outward into the world. As my energy joins with the energies of others, it is multiplied exponentially. It becomes the force of change and healing in the world. It becomes the tipping point for deep healing.
In these tumultuous times, it is easy to lose sight of this amazing, loving power to heal the world through healing each other. It is easy to get lost in the fear and worry of what might happen. Instead of tapping into this potent, healing love, I sometimes find myself more in a state of fear than in love. In these moments I must step back and remember that my purpose is to channel this incredible love to everyone. This is my superpower, and it is your superpower. The more we all tap into that power, the more that the world can begin to heal.
