Month: February 2021

An Interconnected Life

As we live our lives in this interconnected web, it is helpful to remember that we are not alone. Our vibrations make a difference to others, just as theirs make a difference to us. We are called to boldly share our vulnerabilities, our love, and our hearts during our time in these earthly bodies. What part of your vibrations are you willing to share?

Goddess Inspired

February 26, 2021
2 Comments on An Interconnected Life

Tagged courage, Interconnectedness, Sharing, Unconditional Love, Vulnerability

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Grandmother Spider
She who creates the web of the world
Weaver of lives, of hopes, of dreams.

Beautiful Goddess
Come to me as I weave the strands of my life
First this way, then that – over, under – weaving together beauty and sorrow.
Creating a strong place to lie – an interconnected realm
Where the vibration that is me travels to the whole,
Where my actions reverberate for myself and the many.

Grandmother Spider
Teach me to love each strand in the web.
Each strand has its place.
Each strand contributes.
Teach me to weave the lovely and not so lovely strands
Into the whole tapestry that becomes my beautiful self.

An Interconnected Life

In my spiritual imagination, I am floating blissfully in the cosmos, soaking up the unconditional love of the Infinite Source. I am filled to overflowing with such a vast love that I cannot fully comprehend it. I am also aware of an infinity of souls which are connected by the threads of this love. Most of these souls, however, are not conscious of these threads of love which bind us all together. In my spiritual imagination, I send out love along those threads. Through my own awareness, the threads of love vibrate and move. Some souls are awakened by this vibration. Some stir a little and go back to sleep. I am not the only one in this web who is aware. There are countless others who are awake and who are also sending loving awareness to others.

Since I began to write this blog and put it out into the world, I have become aware that sharing my struggles and my vulnerability with others acts much like that silken web in my spiritual imagination. The vibrations that are released into the world become catalysts for others to birth their own struggles, their own ideas, their own epiphanies into the world. My “Dance of Yes,” opens someone else to their own “Dance of Yes.” My vibrations help others to awaken, just as the vibrations of others have helped me to become more conscious.

We are all intimately connected by invisible strands of love and by shared (but many time unspoken) experiences. We are more alike than we are different. Each of us is a spiritual being having a human experience, and our experiences tend to be universal. We all desire love, acceptance, security, food, and shelter. We all long for connection with something greater than ourselves, although we are not always conscious of what we long for.

Many times, all it takes is someone courageously sharing their own story to create a spark of recognition in me. A book, a phrase, a song, a painting, a conversation – these can all be aha moments which move me to greater understanding and deeper awareness. I, personally, have been blessed by many such moments in my own life. These moments have allowed me to see that I am not the only one with doubts and struggles. I am not the only one who feels lost and alone. I am not the only one who thinks the way I do. And in that realization that I am not the only one, I am encouraged to stay on my path, to be brave, to stand in my truth, to claim my own inner strength, and to share with others.

Barbara Garland
February, 2021An Interconnected Life

When Does the Spiritual Become Political?

The Pregnant Void

Goddess Inspired

February 19, 2021

Tagged Alignment, Divine Guidance, Expectation, Potential, Trust

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The Pregnant Void

I was recently introduced to a phrase, “the pregnant void.” (Rachel Wooten coined the phrase in her book, Tara, The Liberating Power of the Female Buddha.) This phrase has stuck with me, and I have been mulling it over ever since. As I understand it, the pregnant void is the infinite potential within and around me. It is whatever that is waiting to become and be birthed through me. It is the infinite unknown and the infinite unknowable. It is also that with which most of us are least comfortable.

Human beings, at least in our modern world, are not comfortable with the unknown. We want to be able to predict the outcome of any given situation. We want to have a plan for every contingency. We want to know how things will turn out. We don’t like uncertainty, especially if it involves discomfort or darkness.

This week in Texas we have had ice, snow, and record low temperatures across the state. The governor declared an unprecedented state of emergency for every county in the state – all 254 of them. There have been long power outages statewide, ranging from minutes to days. Some water systems are not working, and people are suffering greatly. There is a call for heads to roll and blame to be assigned.

The things which we count on for survival, water and electricity, seem to be in very short supply. We take these things for granted and assume that they will always be there, and when they are not there at the turn of the faucet or the flick of a switch, we find ourselves caught up in fear and uncertainty.

This is one more catastrophe on top of many that seem to be rolling over us and society in the past year. Covid-19, wildfires, hurricanes, political upheaval, and now record cold nationwide – the fabric of society seems to be very frayed and uncertain. We don’t know what is coming or how to prepare.

The lesson for me in the midst of all the uncertainty and darkness is to embrace the unknown. I love the term, pregnant void. It implies that something new and unique will be born from the void, something unexpected and delightful. If I can open myself to the dance of yes, not knowing the how or the why, but trusting that the Divine holds me and guides me, then something amazing can be birthed. If I can hold myself in alignment with Spirit and listen to the whispers within, trusting that creation is happening within me, then I can be at peace with the not-knowing. I can accept that outcomes are unpredictable and that not-knowing is a part of life.

What if I can look upon that liminal time of uncertainty, not as a time of darkness, but as the pregnant void? What if I look at it with expectant curiosity and joyous anticipation of what is to be born, rather than wallow in despair? Although pregnancy is uncomfortable and birth can be painful, the end result is usually a new life full of amazing potential. When outcomes are tragic or unexpected, can I find meaning in the darkness? Even when outer circumstances seem tragic, is there something being born within?

When darkness and uncertainty seem overwhelming, trust becomes the guiding principal for survival. I must trust that there is a Divine plan, and I must be open to following it. I must trust that something in this darkness is waiting to be born into the light, and that that something is in alignment with Spirit. I must allow myself to say yes, before I know what I am saying yes to. I must trust the pregnant void and allow Spirit to shape that which is to come into being. I must trust that even in the darkness, there is a flicker of light, something that is waiting to be born from me that can offer hope and healing to myself and to my small corner of a fractured world.

Barbara Garland
February, 2021

The Courage to Be Authentic

Is there a part of your deepest self that you are hiding from the world? Where can you show up bravely and with courage?

Goddess Inspired

February 12, 2021
8 Comments on The Courage to Be Authentic

Tagged Brene Brown, courage, Fear, Perfectionism, Showing Up

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The Courage to Be Authentic

Last week I wrote about my own shadow of perfectionism. As I have pondered this lesson, I have realized that being a perfectionist has helped me to cover up my fears. And there are oh so many fears! I am afraid of being judged as less than, of being seen as incompetent, of being seen as unworthy of love because of who I am, of truly being unworthy, of being wrong – I could write pages of words about fear. So I cover these fears by never venturing into an arena in which I might fail, by keeping myself small and invisible, or by not speaking out when by doing so, I might be criticized. An example is this very blog. I haven’t distributed it to anyone who I think might be critical or who might not appreciate my journey toward the Sacred Feminine.

A by-product of this fear is not showing up in the world as my true self. I can never BE LOVE in the world if I don’t love my own self fully and completely. Brené Brown says, “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”

So it comes down to courage – courage to allow myself to love the full range of who I am and who I am becoming, to then share myself fully with those around me, and to stand in the full power and truth of my deepest self. When I am too afraid to express my full and true self, I deny others the privilege of knowing my depth or sharing my struggles (which may in fact be very similar to their struggles). It is when I share myself fully, heart to heart and soul to soul that I finally begin to understand and have compassion for another. This kind of sharing requires vulnerability, openness, and, yes, great courage.

As I look at the great teachers and leaders throughout history, I believe that they all had one thing in common – they had the courage to show their true selves to the world, and in that courage they acted upon their convictions to speak the Divine truth that flowed through them. They acted in spite of their fears, and some paid the ultimate price of their own lives. However, if they had not shown up, the world as we know it would be a sadder and less enlightened place.

To quote Brené Brown once again, “The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.” When I do not allow myself to be who I truly am out of fear, no matter what that fear is, I diminish myself and become small. I deprive myself and the world of my true essence and don’t allow the Divine to flow through me. I cannot BE LOVE in the world if I am not BEING LOVE to myself.

This year I have committed to saying ‘yes’ to the nudges of the Divine. I have committed to listening to that still, small voice that leads me to my deepest, truest self. But I have to be willing to show up, step up, and speak up – to be my true and authentic self in every circumstance and with everyone, whether or not I think they will approve. I must not allow my shadow-self, full of perfectionism, fears, and doubts, to keep me from shining my Divine light into the world. Today I will release this blog to a wider audience of friends and acquaintances who do not know this side of me.

Is there a part of your deepest self that you are hiding from the world? Where can you show up bravely and with courage?

Barbara Garland
February, 2021

The Shadow of Perfectionism

This week I came face to face with my shadow of perfectionism. It is teaching me some valuable lessons. What shadows are you facing?

Goddess Inspired

February 5, 2021

Tagged Freedom, Imperfection, Joy, Perfectionism, Shadow

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The Shadow of Perfectionism

I must admit that I am struggling, and it is not a bad thing. For 2021 I promised to say “yes” to wherever my intuition might lead. In mid-January an online course challenging me to join a twenty-two day painting meditation practice kept popping up on all my feeds. Every time I opened Facebook, this course appeared. I don’t consider myself an artist of any kind, much less a painter, but this course grabbed my attention. First, it was based on the female Buddha, (Goddess), Green Tara, and of course any aspect of the Divine Feminine intrigues me. Second, it was a working meditation, something I have not done before. Third, it was affordable.

My intuition kept nudging me, and so I signed up for the course. The premise is to paint daily on the same canvas after meditating on an aspect of Tara. The first day, we painted the symbol for Green Tara and wrote what we wanted to bring into our lives. Pretty easy. The next day we painted over the first day’s work with symbols and more words. Easy-peasy! Words are my thing. The next day we painted blue sky and white stars. Again, no sweat. Each day covered over much of the painting from the previous day. If I didn’t like what I did on one day, it got covered up on the next day.

But now I am on day thirteen, and I am being challenged to draw the figure of Tara. What I am seeing on my canvas is a huge head on a disproportionately small body. Not only that, but the face of my Tara is sharp and masculine, not at all feminine and compassionate as I picture the Tara in my head. I think it looks ugly, and I feel very inadequate

I want to cover the whole thing up and start over, or even better, give up and listen to that voice in my head that says I am not an artist; I can’t do it; why would I even think that something like this would turn out even the least bit pleasing.

Which leads me to my lifelong, internal struggle with perfectionism. I am a person who won’t even try something unless I know I can do it well. When I was a child, I might try something once. If I couldn’t do it perfectly, I would quit. For some reason, the idea that I would need to practice and fail many times before I could get something right, never quite clicked with me. And so I quit playing softball and basketball. I quit trying to draw. I concentrated only on those things which I could already do well. And in so doing I missed many opportunities for growth, for friendship, and for the joy of pure play.

The Tara on my canvas has become a metaphor for my life. In jumping into a painting practice, I am facing one of my shadows – perfectionism. Although I knew perfectionism has always been a part of me, I didn’t want to see how it stopped me from living my fullest life. As I look at my Tara, I am so tempted to give up. I want to walk away and tell myself that my intuition failed me. In reality it has brought me face to face with a part of myself which I don’t want to look at.

So – I have decided to keep on with this experiment until the end. I am determined that this time I will persevere and create a finished product that I know is very much less than perfect. This practice of painting is bringing me to a greater awareness of who I am in relationship to creativity, to art, and to the other aspects of my life that I deny because I don’t already know how to do them perfectly. I am discovering that when I judge myself harshly, I am much more inclined to judge others just as harshly. This self-judgment takes me out of the love that I want to be.

Life is messy. Art is messy. As I look at my decidedly imperfect painting, I am uncovering some very humorous metaphors for my own life. The fierce masculine big head and the very small body make me realize that I am still all in my head, that I am not embodying the Sacred Feminine or listening to my own body. The messiness of the project helps me to see that underneath that façade of perfection that I try to project, there is a hidden world of doubt and fear.

As I sit in the muck and the mire of imperfection, I am feeling the stirrings of creativity, of joy, and of freedom. Letting go of trying to be perfect from the beginning allows me to play, to experiment, to dabble. I am opening to the possibility that it is the muck and the mire that brings me to joy, not the sterility of perfection. I may not call myself an artist, but I am a creator. Thanks be to the beautiful green Goddess Tara, for leading me to these truths.

Barbara Garland
February, 2021

If you want to know more about this 22 day painting challenge, go to

https://whitneyfreya.teachable.com/p/22-day-tara-painting-meditation-challenge?fbclid=IwAR1VpiN9L6UKDKcljfoIgrf50gQNk5b_4AadoLuz7UJ8yRuk0CQ9NCzblqY

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New blogs will be added to this post every Friday.

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womanspiritspeaks48@gmail.com

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About Me

I am a seeker of truth, a truth teller, a lover of the Divine Feminine, an aspiring writer, a mystery, an open book, a work in progress. I have lived a long and varied life, and now in my seventies, I am being called to share some of what I have learned over the years. I hope to share the wisdom of the deep Feminine that is being channeled through me.

If the Goddess has ever whispered to you, I invite you to join me on an incredible journey of love and discovery. May you hear Her wisdom through these words.

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